And all this stuff really works well if all releases happen in sequential order, and you don't have someone come in halfway through a development phase screaming for a patch...

There are some work-arounds, but best not to try.  Rewrite it as a stored procedure, and return the result as either the return value if integer, or as an output...

Actually folks, don't worry about this one.  I didn't figure out why it was happenning, but I managed to get around it by splitting the complex query up into segments...

Duplicate of previous answer - apologies.

Short answer - what you want to do is not supported using Contains. You can get around it by doing a reverse search, but that would be a hack.

Read...

Drop the IF Update(...

(Also drop the temp table.)

Try something like this (untested as you didn't provide data...)

DROP TRIGGER Sales.trig_Calculate_OrderProcessed;

GO

CREATE TRIGGER Sales.trig_Calculate_OrderProcessed ON Sales.Orders

AFTER INSERT, DELETE

AS

...