Would you please provide the complete DDL for the trigger?

So, you are asking us on this forum to write your triggers for you instead of writing them yourself?  I'd like to see what you have tried to come up...

Going off-line, check your private messages.

Professionalism, sometimes we exhibit it, some times we don't (been there done that; didn't mean much by it but it blew things out of proportion).  You can stupe (sp ?)...

Could we see what you have done already in this regard?

What is the error message you are getting?  That may help diagnosis your problem.

Here:

Databases

    master

        Tables

        Views

        Synonyms

        Programmability

            Stored Procedures

            Functions

                System Functions

                    Table-Valued Functions

And this is the Help url: ms-help://MS.SQLCC.v9/MS.SQLSVR.v9.en/tsqlref9/html/61b8ad6a-bf80-490c-92db-58dfdff22a24.htm

Actually, PARSENAME was not designed for parsing IP Addresses, it just happens to work, From BOL:

Returns the specified part of an object name. Parts of an object that can...

Personally, I think enough has been said.  It is obvious that Ryan is new to MS SQL Server, and he made what appeared to be a serious error trying to...

Yes, cursors should be avoided, but SOMETIMES (not very often) they are appropriate.  That is all I am saying.  As DBA's/developers we need to know how to use them, when...

It is also required in specific instances in SQL Server 2005.

sys.dm_exec_sql_text is a system table-valued function.  You can find it in the master database.  Check BOL for how you can call it.

I would not go as far as following Adam's original suggestion, completely.  I would suggest that purchasing some books and some early evening reading would be beneficial.  If your willing,...

I am a firm believer in "Never say never."  I will not tell anyone to NEVER use cursors.  Although the times to use them a few and very far apart,...

Ryan,

I must second steve's comments above.  I also think some of the flaming going back and forth could have been avoid had you also taken a few minutes to answer...