yes, that was it, thank you Jacob and Sue!
i was locked into search dmvs with *xe* in them.
Awesome, and thank you again!

GailW here's something I wrote to enumerate the people who inherit permissions from a group, and do not have an explicit login in sys.server_principals

IF OBJECT_ID('[dbo].[sp_help_adusers]') IS...

one day back on 07/28/2016 i was inspired to create a procedure to do this;
as everyone has already identified, the problem is keeping up with releases. how many patches, CU's...

if the columns are already varbinary, are you using procedures to return unencrypted data for selects? if you are already doing that, you should use procs for insert/update/delete as well.

so much of encryption depends on the data type of the destiantion column, and the type of encryption you care to use.
most encryption methods expect a varbinary column, so...

Gail addressed the performance aspect of it; fragmentation is very low on the "fix it" list as far as performance goes.

If you want to address the fragmentation, here's...

as far as tracking if it happens again, i''d create an extended event to capture database creation and deletion, and add login disabled, as well as anything else you think...

I think you need to use a recursive CTE in this case, so that all possible relations are created through joining to the data itself .
if you are not...

it sounds like they are allowed to query the data with their tools of choice, but often write bad queries; maybe you could use  the resource governor in that case;...

i believe  msdb.dbo.sysmail_allitems will only have a single row per mail_id, along with it's current status (sent/unsent/failed)

when a mail does fail, an entry is created in sysmail_event_log
[code...

i've used WinCD Emulator, which mounts an iso as if it were a drive, and also http://wincdemu.sysprogs.org/

and also
Virtual Clone Drive
https://www.elby.ch/en/products/vcd.html

I like...

there's no race condition that i see.

Luis's test tests that one  table or the other has rows; i thought it was very elegant.
IF EXISTS(SELECT * FROM #temp1)

whoops i was assuming Azure SQL, and not DW, my fault, thank you for the clarification Gail!
I read the request too quickly.

your code for the function [sys].[dm_db_index_physical_stats] is hardcoded to database_id = 5, is that right?
 i prefer to use the db_id and current database context.
object_id('') will resolve to null, just...