David,

According to your profiler trace, the pepper doesn't turn to fly specs until the appian.dbo.udf_A User Defined Function hits the fan... that's where your problem is and you should probably...

I didn't think the messenger service needed to be active to do a NET SEND.

Create a view?  Nah... bad idea... 

The 4 part naming convention is only a pain if you don't know how to use table aliases in your FROM clause or you're writing...

I've gotta agree with Remi on this one... make the trigger mark the records or even save the records in a different table.  Then, have your scheduled job run a...

Steve, I thought your post was great!  I don't know about anyone else, but I'm always interested in undocumented features that have been discovered.

I'm not in the business of hacking...

Very, very cool... I like it.

Just so everyone is aware, though, this is a fairly weak form of encryption that contains it's own decoding key that changes based on the...

"TheKing",

Several solutions have been posted to your problem... did any of them do what you wanted? 

Nordest,

There is no direct function and it depends on what you want...

If you wish to use a SELECT to return all records for the year of the current date to...

Never a shortage of "static "  It's what makes this fun!  You guys are the best!

Now, I'm blushing But I haven't caught you yet and that's even better

THAT's what I get for being in a hurry!  Thanks, Sushila...

Concur with Chisholmd... it's a funny thread the manner of which seems to occur all too often and the original poster is driven away without an answer to the original...

I think what you are looking for is SELECT/INTO... it faster than any other method especially if you turn SELECT INTO/BULK COPY on...

It creates the table on the fly fut...

Try this, instead...

SELECT "This is a test"

Why don't you just try it?