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select suser_sname()

This is assuming they're using windows authentication to connect to the server. If thery're using sql authent, then there's no way I know of to find the windows login.

Don't know about the first or last. The error says there's a syntax error near '-', but there are no dashes in what you've posted.

There's also a syntax error in...

No, I meant a real table. Depending whether you need the variables global across all connections or global across all queries on a single connection you could have aa spid...

A variables table?

The security around the metadata has been changed from 2000 to 2005. Only if a user has some right to an object can they see it in the system views.

Back the database up and restore it to a 2005 server. The db will be converted during the restore. Update all the statistics afterwards, if you can.

You should check afterwards...

Any scheduled jobs that corresond to the slowdowns? Either on SQL or windows scheduled events?

I don't think I need to add serializable isolation as I will want my select statement to see the commited transaction so it doesn't insert a duplicate record.

I'm not sure...

I've before now left profiler running for a full day without issue. Just make sure you apply enough filters to get just what you're interested in (in this case, executions...

Can't you remove the duplicates?

Regarding profiler, can't you leave it runing for some time against the prod database? It would be best to catch the cause of the duplicate calls,...

If you're using 2005, you should be using the ALTER INDEX ... REBULD command, rather than the old DBCC DBREINDEX

Since you have your check with(nolock) and there's no transaction, it's quite possible for two calls at the same time to not find the record and then both insert it....

What this message means is that SQL issues an IO to windows and has not received a completion notification in 15 seconds.

A 15 sec delay on IOs is a...

You don't need to update statistics after doing dbreindex. DBReindex updates the stats as part of its operation. IndexDefrag doesn't.