We have some short, wooded trails behind the office so I'll take a walk through those and we have a volleyball court that gets used every day during lunch during...

If you need to use dynamic SQL you're better off using a stored procedure instead of a function:

http://stackoverflow.com/questions/150552/executing-dynamic-sql-in-a-sqlserver-2005-function

Will that work with what you're trying to use the function for?

Check what @@servername returns. If the server got renamed that may not be the actual name of the server. The following will get the current name that Windows...

You should also keep in mind that if one auto grows that SQL will no longer balance the load across the different files properly. Our recommendation to our clients...