I liked that question.  It was a fun one.
The only reason I can think to do an "EXECUTE AS SELF" thing would be if there was a table that...

Yeah, I am thinking it is the system databases that are causing my headache.

Scripting out the logins would have been a huge pain in the behind which is why we...

Thanks for the quick reply.

I ran the commands you suggested and got results that I was not expecting:

3 for the first one (FilestreamConfiguredLevel) and 0 for thes second (FilestreamEffectiveLevel). ...

First half of that works, but the second half fails.

the "Enable Filestream in Configuration Manager and select all options (IO, remote)" step is already done (also tried cycling the options...

Sounds to me like the password is incorrect. The database master key is not the same thing as the sa password or anything like that normally unless you changed...

Have you gone for your MTA yet? If so, how'd you do?

Geeze there is a lot I want to do but realistically:

Rogue one

get my new turntable set up properly and listen to a few records

likely some video games (play but not...