Thanks all.  Decided to just use the built in functions for this, since the developers here had been pretty good about calling all the user defined functions fn_something, it was...

This is SQL2005, with no service packs, running on Windows 2003.

It depends...

If it is a technical presentation, use the real software.  I do want to see how it is really reacting.

If it is a presentation of features (high end overview) then...