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Insensitivity: A Good Technique?


Insensitivity: A Good Technique?

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TravisDBA
TravisDBA
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Stating reality is often confused and perceived as having a negative attitude. There are the way things should be (ideal world), and then there are the way things are (real world). Knowing the difference doesn't necessarily make a person negative, but it seems to be perceived that way by many people. It is what it is. :-D

"Technology is a weird thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other. ...:-D"
Steve JP
Steve JP
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If someone cant take any comment about their work then they and not the person passing comment ought to be on soft skill training. I have worked with someone who believed that they had strong sql skills yet didn't understand what a null was or know what a "group by" was, yeah go figure! Worked with passive aggressive people who have caused more harm to the companies profit than someone who is passionate and can only think in straight lines. Yet, some management only do want yes-men and to be condoned by silence.

Maybe there ought to be a survey on how many IT staff are blessed/cursed with:

ADD - attention deficit disorder
Aspersers/HFA - High functioning autistic
OCD - obsessive compulsive disorder
etc.


President Lincoln said:
“You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time”.
Bill Nicolich
Bill Nicolich
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Steve JP (4/8/2013)
If someone cant take any comment about their work then they and not the person passing comment ought to be on soft skill training.


We should probably all be "on soft skill training" - lol.

In the article, I didn't address how to cope with dysfunctions like over-attachment to work products or inability to handle any type of criticism - though it's a good topic for another day.

I still stand by the notion that we're better off negotiating with people (even if difficult) rather than dispassionately dismissing their commitments and judgments. The challenge of negotiating with people will do us good. We'll further develop emotional intelligence, people skills, negotiation skills and other soft skills.

Bill Nicolich: www.SQLFave.com.
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Eric M Russell
Eric M Russell
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patrickmcginnis59 10839 (4/8/2013)
Eric M Russell (4/5/2013)
TravisDBA (4/5/2013)
Eric M Russell (4/5/2013)So, an a-hole boss will inevitably surround himself with either a-hole subordinates or mediocre supplicants. Meanwhile the most talented people will simply walk out the door. At least in the private sector, how long does the shop like that last? They're actually at a competitive disadvantage.



Exactly Eric, but as long as the A-Hole CEO has got the "deep pockets financial backing" and/or those juicy government contracts, their a-hole company tends to last alot longer than you might think. But I do think overall, you are right, and this is one of the major reasons why America is slipping in the global marketplace as well.The wrong people are in the critical positions and are driving their businesses into the ditch, and what is really unfortunate is many of these "a-hole" people don't seem to really care either... :-D

If we're talking about the government sector, then the rules change again. They have the luxery of pouring more and more money into a bucket despite all the holes. However, the government is running out of credit and the tax payers are pushing back. If there is any silver lining that mess, it's that the government(s) will be forced to change how they do things.

I hear ya buddy! I also enjoy living and working in fantasyland where the good guy always wins!!!!


I don't think the good guy always wins. I don't really see the world through the lens of "good guys" and "bad guys". The villians who pose the biggest threat are actually misguided idealists who consider themselves the good guy.

I do however think that all irrational and unsustainable political and economic systems eventually fail. That's not necessarily a bad thing, because it provides an opportunity to get things right. Often times you can't fix something unless you first tear down the things that are broken.

Take for example, Greece. They were living in a fantasy world, but revent events have forced them to make some hard decisions.


"The universe is complicated and for the most part beyond your control, but your life is only as complicated as you choose it to be."
TravisDBA
TravisDBA
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Steve JP (4/8/2013)
President Lincoln said:
“You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time”.


Lincoln didn't say that, you are misquoting him. What has been attributed to him but not fully proven either is this:

""You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time". Two totally different things and neither has been linked directly to Lincoln, except for a few witnesses that claimed he said it in a speech in 1856, but those are conflicting accounts as well.. :-D

"Technology is a weird thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other. ...:-D"
patrickmcginnis59 10839
patrickmcginnis59 10839
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Eric M Russell (4/8/2013)
patrickmcginnis59 10839 (4/8/2013)
Eric M Russell (4/5/2013)
TravisDBA (4/5/2013)
Eric M Russell (4/5/2013)So, an a-hole boss will inevitably surround himself with either a-hole subordinates or mediocre supplicants. Meanwhile the most talented people will simply walk out the door. At least in the private sector, how long does the shop like that last? They're actually at a competitive disadvantage.



Exactly Eric, but as long as the A-Hole CEO has got the "deep pockets financial backing" and/or those juicy government contracts, their a-hole company tends to last alot longer than you might think. But I do think overall, you are right, and this is one of the major reasons why America is slipping in the global marketplace as well.The wrong people are in the critical positions and are driving their businesses into the ditch, and what is really unfortunate is many of these "a-hole" people don't seem to really care either... :-D

If we're talking about the government sector, then the rules change again. They have the luxery of pouring more and more money into a bucket despite all the holes. However, the government is running out of credit and the tax payers are pushing back. If there is any silver lining that mess, it's that the government(s) will be forced to change how they do things.

I hear ya buddy! I also enjoy living and working in fantasyland where the good guy always wins!!!!


I don't think the good guy always wins. I don't really see the world through the lens of "good guys" and "bad guys". The villians who pose the biggest threat are actually misguided idealists who consider themselves the good guy.

I'm with you there! I know in the cartoons I watched as a child, Bugs Bunny always came out ahead! However, in the real world, there are really villians out there, whether you want to characterise them as "misguided idealists" is really just going to be your choice on how you deal with the villians, and I simply feel no obligation to follow your example.

I do however think that all irrational and unsustainable political and economic systems eventually fail. That's not necessarily a bad thing, because it provides an opportunity to get things right. Often times you can't fix something unless you first tear down the things that are broken.

This sounds suspiciously like the "free market" that always corrects itself. I'm not exactly going to buy into that 100 percent either. But thats my choice as well as yours on what philosophy we aspire to.

Take for example, Greece. They were living in a fantasy world, but revent events have forced them to make some hard decisions.

If you only view the net good and harm as a sum aggregate then maybe your last statement is true, but really, I tend to avoid analysis like that. Within the various financial crises, there were indeed winners and losers, and these imballances occurred and will probably never be made right. This sort of thinking on your part, I feel that it papers over the actual misdeeds perpetrated by bad actors and I've never been a big fan of that. I know your psychological adaptation is that it all averages out, and mine is that simply sometimes the bad guys win and win big at the expense of the good guys and this is something I accept as an example of the imperfections of the human condition.

to properly post on a forum:
http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/61537/
Marcia J
Marcia J
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Steve JP (4/8/2013)
If someone cant take any comment about their work then they and not the person passing comment ought to be on soft skill training. I have worked with someone who believed that they had strong sql skills yet didn't understand what a null was or know what a "group by" was, yeah go figure! Worked with passive aggressive people who have caused more harm to the companies profit than someone who is passionate and can only think in straight lines. Yet, some management only do want yes-men and to be condoned by silence.



I partially agree with you. If a person can never take criticism, that person has a problem. However, I've also seen the people that dole out criticism in a way that belittles others and then criticizes those people for taking it personally. There can be fault on either side.
Miles Neale
Miles Neale
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marcia.j.wilson (4/8/2013)
[quote]Steve JP (4/8/2013) .. However, I've also seen the people that dole out criticism in a way that belittles others and then criticizes those people for taking it personally. There can be fault on either side.


I have seen this also and it is particularly nasty.

Not all gray hairs are Dinosaurs!
Steve JP
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Travis (4/8/2013)


Steve JP (4/8/2013)

President Lincoln said:
“You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time”.



Lincoln didn't say that, you are misquoting him. ......


Damn! I should have left the "President" bit off then I could have defended my misquote by saying that it was Lincoln at the Green Dargon who said it. Nevermind, I do stand corrected :-P



Miles Neale (4/8/2013)
marcia.j.wilson (4/8/2013)
[quote]Steve JP (4/8/2013) .. However, I've also seen the people that dole out criticism in a way that belittles others and then criticizes those people for taking it personally. There can be fault on either side.


I have seen this also and it is particularly nasty.

Might be better to say the 'fault' can be on either side or on both sides
Marcia J
Marcia J
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Steve JP (4/9/2013)...Might be better to say the 'fault' can be on either side or on both sides



I would agree with you on that.
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