This would bring out the old Bastard DBA from Hell in me. Just encrypt all of the views and all outputs from the DB, calling it a new SOX measure, then mention that they must talk to SEcurity to get their own personal security code to decrypt the output.....

Or -

Comply with the request, and store every number in Hex form, again refusing to convert it back to decimal for output purposes.....

(it's been one of them days, so probably best not to heed any of this advice....:))