If the trigger works, I guess its ok - Im leaning towards polling from off the box instead, but the results about the same. Have not tried xp_smtp, but I think a very good idea, built in mail is...finicky? Havent thought through what I need entirely, so far I just see the symptoms. One thing I thought of when writing this is whether using master/target servers would be of any use. Seems like you'd have the same issues, but maybe not.
Andy