On the work mobile I initially evaluate then if of no value then try and politely end the call. If that fails then I press mute and leave the phone on my desk. My reasoning is that if they are prepared to listen then I will engage until it is a pointless endeavour for both parties. Yet when there is no point in the call continuing then I let the party insisting on the continuation to do so. Alone. Occasionally I hear a squeaky voice getting angry when they realise that they have lost their audience.

At home I have fun. I have told wall cavity fillers and loft insulators that I have walls made of jelly (jello to you Yanks - and other citizens of the USA) and have used popcorn for loft insulation. When informed that I have been involved in a car accident I have asked if I was OK. When asked about a different, equally nonexistent, car accident I told the caller it was fatal. My number is only the list that bars marketing calls. It makes little difference.