"I can't believe you're asking me all these product specific questions. You shouldn't be writing your queries using product specific language because that eliminates the ability to quickly and easily change platforms." - A candidate for a SQL Server Database Developer position.
Candidate.
"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
- Theodore Roosevelt
Author of:
SQL Server Execution Plans
SQL Server Query Performance Tuning