• Can't you ask your boss?

    The reason I'm asking is because - if (s)he isn't aware that your script can't be shaped into a view, (s)he probably isn't aware that such a result set can be difficult or impossible to consume.

    Are you absolutely sure that the "variable" columns aren't meant to be concatenated into one for output? It would solve so many future problems for you.

    “Write the query the simplest way. If through testing it becomes clear that the performance is inadequate, consider alternative query forms.” - Gail Shaw

    For fast, accurate and documented assistance in answering your questions, please read this article.
    Understanding and using APPLY, (I) and (II) Paul White
    Hidden RBAR: Triangular Joins / The "Numbers" or "Tally" Table: What it is and how it replaces a loop Jeff Moden