The "IT World" as you put it is WAY too big nowadays to give any kind of definitive answer as to how many hours you should expect. Gone are the days of the "geeks" who knew absolutely everything there is to know about every aspect of IT. Some jobs pretty much expect over 40 hours, some not so much. My current IT job is 40 hours per week with rare overtime for special situations - things that would cause way too much disruption during the work week - but these don't occur very often.

There's stuff I do outside of work that I could consider work-related, but it really isn't because fiddling with computers, etc., is also a hobby. For example, tonight I begin an on-line programming class which will certainly benefit at work, but that's not the primary reason. I'm taking it because I like programming and want to learn more about it. In a similar vein I took an online statistics class earlier this year. Do things like this encroach on family time? Sure, to an extent. However I make it a point not to do more than one class at a time just to keep things manageable.

I like to work also, but work isn't my life and never will be. That's a conscious choice. Everyone has a different limit on how much work can intrude on home and family, but I'd bet a million dollars to a doughnut most would agree that once you start regretting or resenting how work is impinging on home, there's something wrong - regardless of your field.

It's been prven over and over that humans need rest from their labors, be they mental or physical. There's nothing wrong with being a conscientous employee and getting the job done, but neither is there anything wrong with just saying "Chuck It, I'm going to watch TV for a while."