SSIS is extremely fast at INSERTs - I'd suggest leaving those to SSIS.
Updates and deletes I would direct to a staging area and then MERGE via a T-SQL stored proc.
I appreciate that you want to keep this in SSIS as much as possible, but I don't think you'll achieve your 'performant as possible' requirement that way.
If you haven't even tried to resolve your issue, please don't expect the hard-working volunteers here to waste their time providing links to answers which you could easily have found yourself.