that IS the actual plan:

select

(SELECT SUBSTRING(text, r.statement_start_offset/2,(CASE WHEN r.statement_end_offset = -1 THEN LEN(CONVERT(nvarchar(max), text)) * 2 ELSE r.statement_end_offset END - r.statement_start_offset)/2 ) FROM sys.dm_exec_sql_text(r.sql_handle) ) AS query_text

,

(SELECT convert(xml, query_plan) FROM sys.dm_exec_text_query_plan (r.plan_handle , r.statement_start_offset, r.statement_end_offset )) AS query_plan

--,

--(SELECT query_plan FROM sys.dm_exec_query_plan (r.plan_handle )) AS query_plan_batch

-- , qs.*

from sys.dm_exec_requests r

left join sys.dm_exec_query_stats qs

on r.statement_start_offset = qs.statement_start_offset

and r.sql_handle = qs.sql_handle

where 1=1

and session_id = ...