As I thought about goals / resolutions this year, I had to get realistic about how much I want to accomplish as a SQL professional vs. how much I want to accomplish as a father, husband, and church member. We are homeschooling our kids, and our church is doing some amazing projects like building a free health clinic for people without insurance, etc.

As a SQL professional, I would love this year to get certified, give 3 presentations, start a regular blog, and go to PASS Summit. But with 4 kids at home, two of whom are still quite little, and a wife whom I vowed to be there for as a true life companion and not just a walking paycheck, not to mention side project commitments, those targets aren't realistic right now. Instead certification is out of the question this year, 1 or 2 presentations is probably the max, and SQL Rally will be a great trip, targeted exactly to people like me that can't make the Summit.

So I think setting realistic targets is important. I haven't been especially good at this in the past, and instead have just tried to "do everything that interested me". This is a great attitude when you're young, capable, and don't have other commitments. But as your responsibilities grow, you need to sit down, think about it, and make the hard choices about "what to leave in, what to leave out".

For a little more encouragement on giving family the priority it deserves, I highly recommend http://familymanweb.com/ . Now his slant is often "family is everything, every time", and as DBA's sometimes the job does come first. That's the job, don't feel guilty about it. But if you have a family, please resist that urge to make "career" the God of your life.

As far as other things that have worked for me, I've actually changed jobs quite a bit until 1) I figured out what I wanted and 2) I found a company that was sane. Working for a sane company goes a long way toward making work/life balance possible. If your current job is wrecking your home, start looking around. There are good companies out there, even if they are the minority.