I developed these rules a while back, before COVID. I had a period of self-reflection when I realized I was spending time wastefully arguing with folks on the various platforms with no real expectation of changing my mind or theirs. I review these rules periodically to reduce the likelihood of following into those same patterns. I’m not always successful, but I’m far better than I was. I also re-post these rules from time-to-time in part to share them but also in part for accountability. If I start to stray from my rules that allows someone who knows of them to point that out, helping me to course correct.
I understand that some folks believe that “silence is consent,” but I don’t. Being a military brat, a graduate of The Citadel, serving on active duty with the US Air Force, and choosing to live in a “military town” with Fort Jackson a stone’s throw my house, I have grown up and lived around a lot of military veterans who acted far more than they spoke. My conversations with a couple of them is what led to that period of self-reflection. On the other hand, I do believe there are times when folks have to speak up for that they believe in, even if they know going in that it likely won’t change things. So I don’t have an issue with those who choose to do so. These are my rules and I don’t expect anyone other than myself to follow them. Here they are:
- I will treat everyone with kindness and courtesy.
- It doesn’t matter how I’m treated.
- I will not insult or demean another.
- I will not retaliate to any personal attacks.
- I will have a positive attitude or I will end my participation.
- When I begin feeling negative is when I am most at risk for breaking these rules.
- My negativity does not help anyone else.
- If possible, I will state why I am disengaging, shouldering the accountability.
- I can state a problem or a disagreement without being in a negative frame of mind.
- I will look for opportunities to encourage and build up others.
- I will stay out of controversial arguments where none of the following can be accomplished. In all cases I will clearly state my purpose.
- I intend to learn more about the positions being argued.
- I can clear up misinformation or misunderstanding.
- I can add new, relevant information to the discussion.
- I can share the Gospel with someone who appears willing to listen.
- I will attempt to avoid controversial posts where none of the sub-points in (4) can be accomplished.
- I consider security, especially IT security, posts an exception to this rule.
- If I am posting to foster thought and ideas, I will clearly state my purpose.
- I will remember than anything I post is not private.
- I will remember that anything I post can be referred to in the future.