A new tool announced today will help all those DBAs keep up with the workload while trying to remain rested and refreshed.
This tool was developed to perform constant analysis on your SQL Servers by automatically writing queries against DMVs, showing simulated results, and even corrective actions being taken in Management Studio. You can even configure Profiler and System Monitor to pop up at random intervals.
On those days when you need a few minutes to rest and want a break from work, fire up SQL Sleep! and take a well-deserved break. Let SQL Sleep! keep your monitor active and busy. It will ensure that anyone walking by sees you as busy as you could be. All delays are configurable as is the typing speed to simulate your actual capabilities.
Best of all, every keystroke is accompanied by the sound of a keystroke, so it actually sounds like you're getting work done.
And since you're likely buying this on your own dime, we've set a DBA-friendly price of just $39.99!
This software works best if paired with sunglasses and/or headphones.
Note: This utility is 100% safe, using images built on the fly to simulate Management Studio and not actually affecting your Management Sudio installation or other client tools.
Note Note: If you're still reading, April Fools!!!! Every part of this announcement has been fabricated for your enjoyment.