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A Few Good DBAs

By Shaun Tull,

Today we have a guest editorial from Shaun Tull, based on a sceve from the movie "A Few Good Men"

DBA: You want answers?

Manager: I think I'm entitled to them.
DBA: You want answers?

Manager: I want the truth!

DBA: You can't handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has SQL Servers. And those SQL Servers have to be guarded by SQL DBA's. Who's gonna do it? You? You? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom.

You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know:

And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, it protects SQL Servers...You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me protecting that SQL Server. You need me on that SQL Server.

We use words like honor, T-Sql code and loyalty...we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something. You use 'em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very protection I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it!

I'd rather you just said thank you and went on your way.

Otherwise, I suggest you pick up an understanding of SQL Server and start writing some code. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!

Manager: Did you order the T-Sql code font red?

DBA: (quietly) I did the job you sent me to do.

Manager: Did you order the T-Sql code font red?

DBA: You're goddamn right I did!

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Everyday Jones

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Today's podcast features music by Everyday Jones. No relation, but I stumbled on to them and really like the music. Support this great duo at

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