I was eating dinner with the family the other night and saw a poster on the wall talking about the "man game". It was something like this:
Ask for directions <============= ==============> Find a shortcut
- 7 points + 5 points
Shop for drapes <============= ==============> Replace the cord in your drill
- 12 points + 14 points
Watch a soap opera <============= ==============> Go to a ballgame
- 8 points + 9 points
and a few more, but I think you get the idea.
It was pretty funny and got me thinking. Maybe we should have a DBA game? So I spent a few minutes working on one and came up with a few things that I hope you'll like.
The DBA Game
Score yourself and add up the results.
More than 5% of your tables <===== =====> Every table has at least two indexes
are heaps, -5 points +6 points
1st normal form <===== =====> 3rd normal form
-8 points +7 points
blank sa password <===== =====> Custom job to force password changes
-10 points every 90 days, +14 points
Developers edit objects <===== =====> Everything under source control
in Enterprise Manager, -8 points +7 points
Developers have sa rights on <===== =====> Windows admins have no sa rights
development dbs, -12 points +11 points
Backup directly to tape <===== =====> Keep at least one day's backups on disk
-5 points +6 points
Backup to the same file <===== =====> Custom backup jobs naming backup files
everyday, -6 points for the date/time, +5 points
( +2 for using third party compression to save space)
No operators setup for <===== =====> Custom jobs sending emails on performance alerts
alerts, -2 points +4 points
( -1 if using third party software for rich shops)
Boss has access to write his <===== =====> Boss is afraid to ask when the restore will be
own SQL queries, -4 points completed, +6 points
Rewrite stored procedure for <===== =====> Rewrite stored procedure for a developer
a developer with no deadline with a pressing deadline the same day, +6 points
the same day, -9 points
Taking a call from a <===== =====> Dropping your cell phone in a pitcher of beer
business analyst about his when a business analyst calls, +16 points
embedded query from Excel
-7 points
Deferring to the opinion of <===== =====> Properly chastising a developer for expressing a
a developer on data modeling divergent opinion from your own on a data model
- 10 points +8 points
Telling your boss you can <===== =====> Attending the PASS Community Summit
learn fine from books for SQL +9 points
Server 2005 training, -7 points ( +2 for speaking)
Praising Joe Celko <===== =====> Getting Kevin Kline's or Kalen Delaney's autograph
- 2 points +1 point
( +10 if you have it on your office wall)
100 SQLServerCentral.com <===== =====> Answering at least half as many questions as
posts, all questions you ask on SQLServerCentral.com
- 2 points +4 points
Forgetting to always create <===== =====> Keeping the index and permission scripts
indexes when you create with the table creation and under source
tables, -3 points control, +5 points
Getting coffee for your boss <===== =====> Having developers bring you coffee at your desk
-3 points +4 points
No scheduled jobs <===== =====> Using SQLAgent to schedule maintenance, notify you of
- 3 points alerts, and use the on call schedule for operators, +6
points.
Can't setup SQL Mail in <===== =====> Figuring out how to send HTML formatted mail through
30 minutes, -4 points SQL Server 2000 mail, +7 points.
Build a package on your <===== =====> Implement looping in SQL Server 2000 DTS
workstation the doesn't run +8 points
when scheduled on the production
server, -5 points
I don't have any great range titles yet, but feel free to suggest a few. All I know is if you end up with less than 0, perhaps you should consider another line of work. Like a manager.
And throw your own suggestions in here for points and topics. I'll compile a new game for the next major holiday!
