Click here to monitor SSC
SQLServerCentral is supported by Red Gate Software Ltd.
 
Log in  ::  Register  ::  Not logged in
 
 
 
        
Home       Members    Calendar    Who's On


Add to briefcase ««12345»»»

A Few Good DBAs Expand / Collapse
Author
Message
Posted Wednesday, October 29, 2008 5:50 AM


SSC-Dedicated

SSC-DedicatedSSC-DedicatedSSC-DedicatedSSC-DedicatedSSC-DedicatedSSC-DedicatedSSC-DedicatedSSC-DedicatedSSC-DedicatedSSC-DedicatedSSC-DedicatedSSC-DedicatedSSC-Dedicated

Group: General Forum Members
Last Login: Today @ 2:11 PM
Points: 35,772, Visits: 32,441
Grant Fritchey (10/29/2008)
Does this mean I get to carry a gun at work now?

I promise, no more than one developer a week. :D


What... you're not already packin'? Thought is was a requirement. And, heh... I make no such promises! :P


--Jeff Moden
"RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for "Row-By-Agonizing-Row".

First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
Stop thinking about what you want to do to a row... think, instead, of what you want to do to a column."

(play on words) "Just because you CAN do something in T-SQL, doesn't mean you SHOULDN'T." --22 Aug 2013

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to post performance problems
Post #593498
Posted Wednesday, October 29, 2008 6:12 AM
Old Hand

Old HandOld HandOld HandOld HandOld HandOld HandOld HandOld Hand

Group: General Forum Members
Last Login: Wednesday, May 29, 2013 2:53 AM
Points: 386, Visits: 1,005
No more than one developer a week? How about Infrastructure?? Comms? Is one developer equal to 2 Infrastructures???



Madame Artois
Post #593510
Posted Wednesday, October 29, 2008 6:16 AM
Forum Newbie

Forum NewbieForum NewbieForum NewbieForum NewbieForum NewbieForum NewbieForum NewbieForum Newbie

Group: General Forum Members
Last Login: Monday, November 10, 2014 6:24 AM
Points: 8, Visits: 176
Is Jack Nicholson a DBA? Cool!





;)
Post #593513
Posted Wednesday, October 29, 2008 6:23 AM
Grasshopper

GrasshopperGrasshopperGrasshopperGrasshopperGrasshopperGrasshopperGrasshopperGrasshopper

Group: General Forum Members
Last Login: Thursday, November 20, 2014 12:50 PM
Points: 13, Visits: 685
I found this on SQLTeam.com

A new version of ‘A Few Good Men’…
....

CIO: "Did you order the code change?"

DBA: "You want answers?"

CIO: "I think I'm entitled."

DBA: "You want answers!!"

CIO: "I want the truth!"

DBA: "You can't handle the truth!"

DBA: "Son, we live in a world that has databases. And those databases have to be administered by men with laptops. Who's gonna do it? You? Developers? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom.

You weep for your application and you curse the DBA team. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that your application's crash, while tragic, probably saved the database. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves databases.

You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me online. You need me on online! We use words like referential integrity, table constraints, and triggers... we use these words as the backbone to a life spent administering databases. You use 'em as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very data integrity I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I'd prefer you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you logon and start coding. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!!"

CIO: "Did you order the code change???"

DBA: "I did my job, I'd do it again."

CIO: "Did you order the code change??!"

DBA: "You're !%@&*? right I did!"

....

Post #593519
Posted Wednesday, October 29, 2008 6:24 AM
Forum Newbie

Forum NewbieForum NewbieForum NewbieForum NewbieForum NewbieForum NewbieForum NewbieForum Newbie

Group: General Forum Members
Last Login: Thursday, February 7, 2013 6:41 AM
Points: 5, Visits: 57
After 30 years in engineering and IT, I can feel Shaun's sentiments deep in my gut. After a moment of reflection, early in the morning, after a good night's sleep, and before the crisis of the day arrives, they seem a bit prideful and self-centered. Are there any business managers out there who could write in the same style from the other point of view?
Post #593521
Posted Wednesday, October 29, 2008 6:28 AM


Old Hand

Old HandOld HandOld HandOld HandOld HandOld HandOld HandOld Hand

Group: General Forum Members
Last Login: Monday, May 7, 2012 9:23 AM
Points: 304, Visits: 716
Very good Shaun, very creative... but speaking as a manager, you missed two scenes... This earlier one...

Manager: I'm going to need a copy of your six month objectives, and also a report on how you screwed up with this recent server overhaul.

DBA: Sure... Sure Danny, you can have that... (pause)... But you gotta ask me nicely.

Manager: I'm sorry?

DBA: You can have all the objectives and reports on how I screwed up you want - but you gotta ask me nicely!

Manager: General DBA, sir... Might I have a copy of your six month objectives, and the report on how you almost put us out of business recently?

DBA: Why sure Danny, my underling will run you by my cubicle this morning and see you get all the paper work you need.

...and of course this portion of the scene Shaun didnt include....

Manager: Did you order the T-SQL code font red?

DBA: You're goddamn right I did!

(long pause, manager looks at VP...)

Manager: Jack?

(VP Jack, sad, but aware DBA has just sunk himself, nods his head in the affirmative...)

Manager: I believe we need to get over to Human Resources and begin a 526 termination process, the DBA has rights.

VP Jack: DBA, its my duty to inform you that you are hereby fired.

DBA: (angry, intense, to manager) Boy, I am going to tear off your head and spit down your neck!!!

Manager: (in DBA's face...) Goddamn DBA's - prima donnas one and all - No DBA, you are going to leave this place and hopefully learn that you are not above anyone in this business - we're a team and we dont work for you, you work WITH us! At least you are supposed to!

( Weeks later after DBA has visited unemployment office )

DBA: Would you like fries and can I super-size that for you sir?

McDonald's Customer: Yeah, sure, that sounds fine.

Touche!!! :D



There's no such thing as dumb questions, only poorly thought-out answers...
Post #593524
Posted Wednesday, October 29, 2008 6:34 AM
SSC Veteran

SSC VeteranSSC VeteranSSC VeteranSSC VeteranSSC VeteranSSC VeteranSSC VeteranSSC Veteran

Group: General Forum Members
Last Login: Wednesday, December 2, 2009 10:09 AM
Points: 213, Visits: 322
Absolutely... hilarious that made my day, well done Shaun.
Post #593533
Posted Wednesday, October 29, 2008 6:41 AM


SSC Eights!

SSC Eights!SSC Eights!SSC Eights!SSC Eights!SSC Eights!SSC Eights!SSC Eights!SSC Eights!

Group: General Forum Members
Last Login: 2 days ago @ 11:42 AM
Points: 821, Visits: 2,028
Grant Fritchey (10/29/2008)
Does this mean I get to carry a gun at work now?


I'm and old IBM 1130 hack. A buddy of mine who was, at the time, a comm center specialist in Vietnam sent me a very cryptic letter. It was and IBM part number. What the ...? I looked it up. It's a bracket that bolts to the side of the CPU console. It's a holder for a Thompson .45 caliber sub-machine gun Talk a bout defending your data!


ATB

Charles Kincaid

Post #593539
Posted Wednesday, October 29, 2008 6:47 AM


SSC-Dedicated

SSC-DedicatedSSC-DedicatedSSC-DedicatedSSC-DedicatedSSC-DedicatedSSC-DedicatedSSC-DedicatedSSC-DedicatedSSC-DedicatedSSC-DedicatedSSC-DedicatedSSC-DedicatedSSC-Dedicated

Group: Administrators
Last Login: Yesterday @ 3:11 PM
Points: 31,368, Visits: 15,837
No guns at work. Chances are we're run out of developers and have to go code things ourselves. Now truncheons....

I thought this was a little silly shooting the podcast, or maybe that was me. Glad you enjoyed it and thanks Shaun!







Follow me on Twitter: @way0utwest

Forum Etiquette: How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help
Post #593548
Posted Wednesday, October 29, 2008 6:48 AM
Forum Newbie

Forum NewbieForum NewbieForum NewbieForum NewbieForum NewbieForum NewbieForum NewbieForum Newbie

Group: General Forum Members
Last Login: Tuesday, March 22, 2011 8:31 AM
Points: 3, Visits: 172
All jokes aside, we here in South Africa only watched the final of Survivor Fiji last night and I must say that I was so sorry that Yauman was voted out. I hoped he would win it.


Thanks, dude. I was going to watch that one tonight.
Post #593549
« Prev Topic | Next Topic »

Add to briefcase ««12345»»»

Permissions Expand / Collapse