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The Scary DBA

I have twenty+ years experience in IT. That time was spent in technical support, development and database administration. I work forRed Gate Software as a Product Evangelist. I write articles for publication at SQL Server Central, Simple-Talk, PASS Book Reviews and SQL Server Standard. I have published two books, ”Understanding SQL Server Execution Plans” and “SQL Server 2008 Query Performance Tuning Distilled.” I’m one of the founding officers of the Southern New England SQL Server Users Group and its current president. I also work on part-time, short-term, off-site consulting contracts. In 2009 and 2010 I was awarded as a Microsoft SQL Server MVP. In the past I’ve been called rough, intimidating and scary. To which I usually reply, “Good.” You can contact me through grant -at- scarydba dot kom (unobfuscate as necessary).

Book Review: Business in the Trenches

I’m trying to improve.

That’s at just about everything too. I know I don’t know enough or have enough skills to always get things done in an efficient manner, so I’m trying to learn more. One way is by reading, a lot. I’ve read a number of management and leadership… Read more

0 comments, 113 reads

Posted in The Scary DBA on 9 May 2013

How to Tell Your Windows Azure SQL Database Moved

The very concept of the Windows Azure SQL Database (WASD) is predicated on the up-time created by having three active copies of your database. Should there be a hardware or software failure that would cause the primary replica to go down, your database gets moved to one of the secondary… Read more

8 comments, 419 reads

Posted in The Scary DBA on 7 May 2013

Windows Azure SQL Database Backups

You can get backups of your WASD databases. But, if you want them to be transactionally consistent, you need to do a little extra work. This video (with bad lighting at the start) shows how to get the job done.

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4 comments, 251 reads

Posted in The Scary DBA on 4 April 2013

Execution Plans in Azure SQL Database

Microsoft has stated pretty clearly that they’re putting code on Azure first, ahead of the desktop. Which makes one wonder when we’re going to start to see some of this cool stuff within SSMS. What cool stuff you ask? Well, let me explain. Let’s start with a query:

SELECT	m.MovieName,…

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5 comments, 936 reads

Posted in The Scary DBA on 25 March 2013

Laws You Break at Your Peril

Laws of Thermodynamics

TANSTAAFL

Gods of the Copybook Headings

All magic comes with a price

Winter Is Coming

My adult years started with a pretty thorough education in physics thanks to Uncle Sugar and the Navy Nuclear Power School. The laws of thermodynamics were carved into our brains (along with… Read more

6 comments, 199 reads

Posted in The Scary DBA on 20 March 2013

Star Trek and the Death of IT

GAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

I feel slightly better, but only slightly.

I started watching Star Trek: The Next Generation on Netflix just to unwind my brain and relax a little. Instead of relaxation I found myself pacing back and forth in front of the television, gesticulating wildly, with a string expletives coming out… Read more

8 comments, 240 reads

Posted in The Scary DBA on 18 March 2013

Time to Chat

The greatest part of my job is that I get to travel all over the world to present different technical sessions. But, it’s not the presentations that make it cool. It’s the fact that I get to meet people. I get a chance to hang out with my #sqlfamily. I… Read more

0 comments, 209 reads

Posted in The Scary DBA on 11 March 2013

Pro SQL Server 2012 Practices: Chapter 17

I jumped at the opportunity to write a chapter for this book, Pro SQL Server 2012 Practices, because of all the fantastic people writing and the topics that were covered. I reviewed Chapter 12 a few weeks ago and I’ve been meaning to get this chapter, Big Data for… Read more

0 comments, 307 reads

Posted in The Scary DBA on 4 March 2013

It Is Your Fault

I earned my nickname. I’m proud of it. I am the Scary DBA. I don’t really like to advertise my other nickname, Rant (get it, Grant shortened to another word). I earned that one too. I’m not proud of it at all. I got that one because I sometimes don’t… Read more

16 comments, 245 reads

Posted in The Scary DBA on 27 February 2013

SQL Saturday #187 Richmond And More

In just a couple of weeks I’ll be flying down to Richmond, VA to speak at SQL Saturday #187. I’ll be presenting two topics, Backups for the Accidental DBA and Query Tuning in the Clouds. It’s going to be a great event with a bunch of excellent speakers. If… Read more

0 comments, 201 reads

Posted in The Scary DBA on 25 February 2013

SQL Server Naming Standards

Want to start a fight between a bunch of DBAs or database developers? Ask them where the comma should be placed between columns in a SELECT statement. It’s actually a little disturbing just how much emotional value people place in this. Almost as good, tell a database developer you don’t… Read more

10 comments, 2,554 reads

Posted in The Scary DBA on 13 February 2013

DBAs and the Dark Closet

For many years, I loved being a DBA because, unlike being a developer, I could sort of hide from the world. I could go into a dark closet (a well-lit cube, but hang with me here) and hide from everyone (except the people in the cubes next to me, my… Read more

10 comments, 230 reads

Posted in The Scary DBA on 6 February 2013

New DMO in Azure SQL Database: sys.dm_db_wait_stats

I just did a series of Boogle searches and when that didn’t find anything I tried Ging. Neither listed sys.dm_db_wait_stats. Nothing in a search directly against MSDN either. So, let me introduce you to a new DMO, sys.dm_db_wait_stats.

It’s a dynamic management view since it doesn’t require any input. The… Read more

8 comments, 237 reads

Posted in The Scary DBA on 4 February 2013

Azure SQL Database Execution Plan Differences

I’ve been exploring execution plans in Azure SQL Databases a lot lately. I’m getting a presentation together for  some upcoming SQL Saturday events (first one is SQL Saturday #177, Silicon Valley). If you scroll to the bottom of this previous post, I mentioned that there were clearly differences… Read more

4 comments, 280 reads

Posted in The Scary DBA on 30 January 2013

Saving Execution Plans on Azure SQL Database

In my previous post showing how to get to execution plans in the Database Management Portal, I showed that it’s pretty easy to put a query in a query window and get the execution plan. This allows you to understand query behavior in order to tune your T-SQL or your… Read more

2 comments, 326 reads

Posted in The Scary DBA on 23 January 2013

Pro SQL Server 2012 Practices: Chapter 12

I was very privileged to get the opportunity to write a chapter in a book with some of my friends and SQL Family, Pro SQL Server 2012 Practices
. Just as each of us took a chapter to write, each of us going to take a chapter to review. But,… Read more

1 comments, 255 reads

Posted in The Scary DBA on 21 January 2013

You Can Say “No”

I heard about this new law that was passed to prevent employers from asking for your social media passwords. After the laughter stopped, I realized that, maybe, this would be needed. Not because I need the government to help me manage my interactions with my employers and potential employers.… Read more

7 comments, 321 reads

Posted in The Scary DBA on 16 January 2013

Execution Plans on Azure SQL Database Portal

If you’ve been working with the Azure SQL Database portal, you know that you have a query window. Within the query window you can run queries against your server. You’ll get back results, timing, everything you need to observe behavior within the system. What’s that? You never heard of this?… Read more

9 comments, 614 reads

Posted in The Scary DBA on 14 January 2013

Plans for 2013

I have lists. Lots of lists. I even have them in different locations sometimes. Some of them are carefully written down in my notebook, others are typed into OneNote and I’ve been experimenting with Remember the Milk and Trello (Trello is winning). These lists include ideas for presentations, blogs, articles.… Read more

5 comments, 261 reads

Posted in The Scary DBA on 9 January 2013

Statistics Update Clarification

By default statistics are created automatically within SQL Server. And, by default, these stats are updated automatically based on a set of triggers. The triggers are defined as

  • If 0 rows – Any data added leads to a statistics update
  • If < 500 rows – 500 rows added causes a…

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1 comments, 1,345 reads

Posted in The Scary DBA on 7 January 2013

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