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Are the posted questions getting worse? Expand / Collapse
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Posted Friday, March 14, 2014 4:09 PM


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jcrawf02 (3/13/2014)
Do any of you guys have random people endorse you for skills, that you know they have no idea if you can do? I mean, I've never worked with Jeff, but endorsed him for T-SQL because, well, he's worked with me, ifyahnowhaddimean. But I have a guy who only knows me from high school and college, when I was a jazz trombonist, endorsing me for BI and Data Warehousing and HIPAA, when all he really knows is that I play a mean sackbut...

Yes, it happens all the time. Even worse, people endorse me for things I have never done. I believe this is pretty normal LinkedIn behaviour.


Tom
Post #1551403
Posted Friday, March 14, 2014 6:52 PM


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The Dixie Flatline (3/13/2014)
I think my bitbucket is defective. Could that have been the problem with my (former) database?




Your bitbucket being defective is certainly an issue, in many ways and at all levels. I was rather hoping that would have solved the problem forever. Sadly not. Allow me to advise further.
The Cacheing your Chips approach did not quite work out how I expected it to. We now have to take solving the PBCAK issue you clearly have to the next level.
The problem is that something in between the plug socket and the bitbucket is blocking the electricity and datastream, and this needs to be freed up. This is a three person job which requires expert staff and effective management.
You need, your PHB, and the last person who claimed it was "a database issue" in spite of the fact the system logs were full of application errors, the database was fine and you could hear them drooling over the 'phone while they shouted "Agile", "SQL Server doesn't scale" and "Internet time", or the clown esteemed colleague who gave you internet access. It is very important they are there while you do this, and having survived the Caching Your Chips episode, you do this properly.
Firstly, this is a slightly more dangerous job, you need to protect yourself, your PHB and the fucktar valued colleague. In order to do this you need to protect all staff with something flexible and preferably shiny and metallic. While not a cheap option, I highly recommend magnesium ribbon. This should really finish the job that I failed to help you finish last time, for which I apologise. To everyone.
Wrap all members of the "Executive Top Level Strike Team" in the Magnesium Ribbon. Attach copper wire to the top and bottom ends of the ribbon. Petrol will help damp down any magnesium fumes which can be a health hazard. Douse yourselves and your colleagues with it liberally for safety purposes.
Now, you need to unplug the server - warn the users that something wonderful is going to happen first.
What has happened is that the bitbucket has become corrupted and has truncated to the plug socket. This means all the 1s are currently in the socket and all you have are the zeroes. This is why your database is corrupted. The 1's need to be set free. (There is probably a song about this, all I know it it's not one by the Bus Station Loonies)
This requires a freeing tool and a discharge mechanism.
The most effective freeing tool is a simple metal fork, bend the middle two tines down and adjust the other two to match positive and negative entries to the plug socket. Be careful not to earth as this will let the 1's escape. This is bad.
Attach the copper wire attached to the mag ribbon to the two active tines. Ensure that the PHB and valued colleagues are holding onto your legs and are plugged into whatever comes to mind and the mag ribbon is linked to the tines in the freeing tool. Also ensure that there is sufficient petrol damping the mag ribbon fumes. Throw on a gallon or two for luck.
Make sure the socket is live (or the 1's will escape) and insert the freeing tool into the socket and wiggle as hard as you can until the process is complete. You may feel a burning sensation. If done correctly, this should be quite brief


I'm a DBA.
I'm not paid to solve problems. I'm paid to prevent them.
Post #1551422
Posted Friday, March 14, 2014 8:07 PM


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TomThomson (3/14/2014)
jcrawf02 (3/13/2014)
Do any of you guys have random people endorse you for skills, that you know they have no idea if you can do? I mean, I've never worked with Jeff, but endorsed him for T-SQL because, well, he's worked with me, ifyahnowhaddimean. But I have a guy who only knows me from high school and college, when I was a jazz trombonist, endorsing me for BI and Data Warehousing and HIPAA, when all he really knows is that I play a mean sackbut...

Yes, it happens all the time. Even worse, people endorse me for things I have never done. I believe this is pretty normal LinkedIn behaviour.


I've gotten some linked in messages that say things to the effect of "I just endorsed you for your skills. Help me solve this problem now."


--Jeff Moden
"RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for "Row-By-Agonizing-Row".

First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
Stop thinking about what you want to do to a row... think, instead, of what you want to do to a column."

(play on words) "Just because you CAN do something in T-SQL, doesn't mean you SHOULDN'T." --22 Aug 2013

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to post performance problems
Post #1551428
Posted Friday, March 14, 2014 8:10 PM


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Jeff Moden (3/14/2014)
TomThomson (3/14/2014)
jcrawf02 (3/13/2014)
Do any of you guys have random people endorse you for skills, that you know they have no idea if you can do? I mean, I've never worked with Jeff, but endorsed him for T-SQL because, well, he's worked with me, ifyahnowhaddimean. But I have a guy who only knows me from high school and college, when I was a jazz trombonist, endorsing me for BI and Data Warehousing and HIPAA, when all he really knows is that I play a mean sackbut...

Yes, it happens all the time. Even worse, people endorse me for things I have never done. I believe this is pretty normal LinkedIn behaviour.


I've gotten some linked in messages that say things to the effect of "I just endorsed you for your skills. Help me solve this problem now."

If LinkedIn does not find a way to deal with this, they will be out of business, soon. Endorsements are part of their core paradigm.

Fortunately, I do not have any money in their stock.
Post #1551429
Posted Saturday, March 15, 2014 6:37 AM


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Revenant (3/14/2014)
Jeff Moden (3/14/2014)
TomThomson (3/14/2014)
jcrawf02 (3/13/2014)
Do any of you guys have random people endorse you for skills, that you know they have no idea if you can do? I mean, I've never worked with Jeff, but endorsed him for T-SQL because, well, he's worked with me, ifyahnowhaddimean. But I have a guy who only knows me from high school and college, when I was a jazz trombonist, endorsing me for BI and Data Warehousing and HIPAA, when all he really knows is that I play a mean sackbut...

Yes, it happens all the time. Even worse, people endorse me for things I have never done. I believe this is pretty normal LinkedIn behaviour.


I've gotten some linked in messages that say things to the effect of "I just endorsed you for your skills. Help me solve this problem now."

If LinkedIn does not find a way to deal with this, they will be out of business, soon. Endorsements are part of their core paradigm.

Actually I don't think they are. They are a fairly recent addition to LinkedIn. The core way for one member to provide evaluation of another's skills is not endorsement, but reccomendation, which tends to be much less abused than endorsement.


Tom
Post #1551468
Posted Saturday, March 15, 2014 8:19 AM


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Wow, the things you learn around here.

If you check index fragmentation, enable locked pages and enable (but don't configure) resource governor, SQL will magically start to use less memory
http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/FindPost1551457.aspx

and the max memory that a process installed on 32-bit Windows can use is 32 GB. http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/FindPost1551464.aspx



Gail Shaw
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server 2008, MVP
SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability

We walk in the dark places no others will enter
We stand on the bridge and no one may pass

Post #1551480
Posted Saturday, March 15, 2014 8:46 AM


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TomThomson (3/15/2014)
Revenant (3/14/2014)
Jeff Moden (3/14/2014)
TomThomson (3/14/2014)
jcrawf02 (3/13/2014)
Do any of you guys have random people endorse you for skills, that you know they have no idea if you can do? I mean, I've never worked with Jeff, but endorsed him for T-SQL because, well, he's worked with me, ifyahnowhaddimean. But I have a guy who only knows me from high school and college, when I was a jazz trombonist, endorsing me for BI and Data Warehousing and HIPAA, when all he really knows is that I play a mean sackbut...

Yes, it happens all the time. Even worse, people endorse me for things I have never done. I believe this is pretty normal LinkedIn behaviour.


I've gotten some linked in messages that say things to the effect of "I just endorsed you for your skills. Help me solve this problem now."

If LinkedIn does not find a way to deal with this, they will be out of business, soon. Endorsements are part of their core paradigm.

Actually I don't think they are. They are a fairly recent addition to LinkedIn. The core way for one member to provide evaluation of another's skills is not endorsement, but reccomendation, which tends to be much less abused than endorsement.


It was on the internet, it must be true!
Goes along with resumes that are inflated.

Usually the best you find are pretty humble about their skills.
See that all the time around here.
Even though I haven't worked with many of you, I could easily point to examples of your code or teaching someone.
Post #1551484
Posted Saturday, March 15, 2014 5:48 PM


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Jeff Moden (3/14/2014)
TomThomson (3/14/2014)
jcrawf02 (3/13/2014)
Do any of you guys have random people endorse you for skills, that you know they have no idea if you can do? I mean, I've never worked with Jeff, but endorsed him for T-SQL because, well, he's worked with me, ifyahnowhaddimean. But I have a guy who only knows me from high school and college, when I was a jazz trombonist, endorsing me for BI and Data Warehousing and HIPAA, when all he really knows is that I play a mean sackbut...

Yes, it happens all the time. Even worse, people endorse me for things I have never done. I believe this is pretty normal LinkedIn behaviour.


I've gotten some linked in messages that say things to the effect of "I just endorsed you for your skills. Help me solve this problem now."


Wow, their mothers must be so proud


I'm a DBA.
I'm not paid to solve problems. I'm paid to prevent them.
Post #1551527
Posted Saturday, March 15, 2014 6:47 PM


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GilaMonster (3/15/2014)
Wow, the things you learn around here.

If you check index fragmentation, enable locked pages and enable (but don't configure) resource governor, SQL will magically start to use less memory
http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/FindPost1551457.aspx

and the max memory that a process installed on 32-bit Windows can use is 32 GB. http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/FindPost1551464.aspx


Don't recognise the name, but that is actually about the quality of "advice" I get from some of our vendors "SQL Experts". I'll post some of the bewilderingly clueless crap - including the "Well you've probably not heard of him, but I'm a member of Brent Ozar's group and he says .." "You're a member of Brent's GROUP? What do you mean by that, you subscribe to his newsletter, what have you run sp_blitz, sp_blitzindex, sp_AskBrent - I've run all of those and a shedload of other scripts, send me the output, we can go through it". "Er, I've not got the links" ... <Growl> "So what are you running and what's your output". Can I get back to you ...



I'm a DBA.
I'm not paid to solve problems. I'm paid to prevent them.
Post #1551532
Posted Sunday, March 16, 2014 8:21 AM


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GilaMonster (3/15/2014)
Wow, the things you learn around here.

If you check index fragmentation, enable locked pages and enable (but don't configure) resource governor, SQL will magically start to use less memory
http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/FindPost1551457.aspx

and the max memory that a process installed on 32-bit Windows can use is 32 GB. http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/FindPost1551464.aspx


erm um




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Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw
Post #1551563
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