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SQL Sleep
16 posts, Page 2 of 2
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Steve Jones - SSC Editor
Steve Jones - SSC Editor
Posted Tuesday, April 01, 2008 8:48 AM
SSC-Dedicated
Group: Administrators
Last Login: Yesterday @ 1:47 PM
Points: 31,406,
Visits: 13,722
Or better yet, Camtasia your screen when you're analyzing something, record the actions, and then play them back in a loop :)
Follow me on Twitter:
@way0utwest
Forum Etiquette: How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help
Post #477720
Leo Espejo-390324
Leo Espejo-390324
Posted Tuesday, April 01, 2008 9:00 AM
SSC Rookie
Group: General Forum Members
Last Login: Tuesday, December 06, 2011 7:43 AM
Points: 25,
Visits: 18
The another joke, yes the one about the Database Wars coming for the XBOX 360, I saw it as far as 10 miles it was a joke... but this one about SQL Sleep, you made it !!!, April Fools !!!, hahahaha I only realized it was a joke when a read the "note note" (well the sunglasses comment made it suspicious)
Sorry for my bad english.
Post #477734
Jeff Moden
Jeff Moden
Posted Tuesday, April 01, 2008 2:42 PM
SSC-Dedicated
Group: General Forum Members
Last Login: Today @ 8:49 AM
Points: 32,889,
Visits: 26,758
Preet (4/1/2008)
Really!
Do you think we got nothing better to do than read pointless articles?
Heh... well at least we know of one person who was going to buy it right up to the last line of the article. :P
--Jeff Moden
"
RBAR
is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for "
R
ow-
B
y-
A
gonizing-
R
ow".
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
Stop thinking about what you want to do to a row... think, instead, of what you want to do to a column."
For better, quicker answers on T-SQL questions, click on the following...
http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Best+Practices/61537/
For better answers on performance questions, click on the following...
http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/SQLServerCentral/66909/
Post #478074
Jeff Moden
Jeff Moden
Posted Tuesday, April 01, 2008 2:50 PM
SSC-Dedicated
Group: General Forum Members
Last Login: Today @ 8:49 AM
Points: 32,889,
Visits: 26,758
gr8scott_o (4/1/2008)
Seriously, I would pay $40 for this... problem is my snoring would probably give me away.
But wait! Don't order yet! If you're one of the next 100 callers, we throw in a free set of nasal passage widener strips to keep you from snoring and a special turtleneck sweater that will actually keep your head in postion while you sleep. AND, if you call in the next 10 minutes, well upgrade you to the DELUXE package that includes a special USB compatible motion detector so that if anyone approaches you, the software will say in your own voice... "Not now, I have a production issue!" And, just for being so prompt, we'll also include special eyelid decals that make it look like your eyes are actually open! Be sure to tell the operator what your eye color is!
--Jeff Moden
"
RBAR
is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for "
R
ow-
B
y-
A
gonizing-
R
ow".
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
Stop thinking about what you want to do to a row... think, instead, of what you want to do to a column."
For better, quicker answers on T-SQL questions, click on the following...
http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Best+Practices/61537/
For better answers on performance questions, click on the following...
http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/SQLServerCentral/66909/
Post #478079
gr8scott_o
gr8scott_o
Posted Tuesday, April 01, 2008 2:57 PM
Forum Newbie
Group: General Forum Members
Last Login: Monday, May 06, 2013 4:26 PM
Points: 4,
Visits: 77
Jeff Moden (4/1/2008)
But wait! Don't order yet! If you're one of the next 100 callers, we throw in a free set of nasal passage widener strips to keep you from snoring and a special turtleneck sweater that will actually keep your head in postion while you sleep. AND, if you call in the next 10 minutes, well upgrade you to the DELUXE package that includes a special USB compatible motion detector so that if anyone approaches you, the software will say in your own voice... "Not now, I have a production issue!" And, just for being so prompt, we'll also include special eyelid decals that make it look like your eyes are actually open! Be sure to tell the operator what your eye color is!
SOLD! ha ha used to work for a company that had a very similar sounding sales pitch...
Post #478086
Jeff Moden
Jeff Moden
Posted Tuesday, April 01, 2008 4:29 PM
SSC-Dedicated
Group: General Forum Members
Last Login: Today @ 8:49 AM
Points: 32,889,
Visits: 26,758
Heh... you can tell I've watched way too many info-mercials! :P
--Jeff Moden
"
RBAR
is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for "
R
ow-
B
y-
A
gonizing-
R
ow".
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
Stop thinking about what you want to do to a row... think, instead, of what you want to do to a column."
For better, quicker answers on T-SQL questions, click on the following...
http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Best+Practices/61537/
For better answers on performance questions, click on the following...
http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/SQLServerCentral/66909/
Post #478147
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