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Need some function help, debuggin, destupifying.... Expand / Collapse
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Posted Tuesday, December 11, 2012 4:20 PM


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Oh.... Wow... I have a friend that can't stop his team in India from calling him Brain.... I'm sure you can figure that one out...

I'll have to tell you how I got the moniker of Crusty.... D'OH! and that is a hint....

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Posted Tuesday, December 11, 2012 6:38 PM


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GilaMonster (12/11/2012)
CptCrusty1 (12/11/2012)
Gail, I once asked you why you're called Gila Monster.


Old story.

Gail
Gila

Notice the letter ordering. Now add a friend with a mild typing problem (typed faster with her right hand than her left) and you have a nickname.


A perplexing enigma now demystified.



My mantra: No loops! No CURSORs! No RBAR! Hoo-uh!

My thought question: Have you ever been told that your query runs too fast?

My advice:
INDEXing a poor-performing query is like putting sugar on cat food. Yeah, it probably tastes better but are you sure you want to eat it?
The path of least resistance can be a slippery slope. Take care that fixing your fixes of fixes doesn't snowball and end up costing you more than fixing the root cause would have in the first place.


Need to UNPIVOT? Why not CROSS APPLY VALUES instead?
Since random numbers are too important to be left to chance, let's generate some!
Learn to understand recursive CTEs by example.
Splitting strings based on patterns can be fast!
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