Wow, talk about comprehensive feedback. (I suppose I should be careful what I ask for!) Can I just use your sample and be done with it? 🙂

In all seriousness -- I definitely agree with #1. Let me see what I can do about some kind of definition. I also understand what you're saying about #2 and #3. Let me take some time to digest that a bit.

As for the other points: when I'm trying to teach a subject, my preference is to facilitate discussion (although my disaster recovery talk is an exception -- that one is more a narrative and does tell a story). I like to get my audience involved and engaged, and I've gotten very good feedback for using that approach in my other talks. This is not to discount the "storytelling" -- I'm all for it -- it's just that trying to get the audience to participate is more my M.O., and I try to use that approach whenever possible.

And as for the sample abstract, I mainly have two issues. First, my thinking is that for an abstract, it's too verbose. To me, this type of abstract needs to capture attention at a quick glance (although I do recognize there are exceptions). I do want to make sure that I highlight certain points, so the trick for me is to get the person interested in as few words as possible.

Second -- and more simply -- it just doesn't sound like me. 🙂

Thanks for the great feedback! I'll see what I can do with this!