Thanks. I do often find myself wondering if I've lost my mind when people patiently explain things that don't make sense. As if talking slower will take the nonsensical part away.

This is OT, but maybe someone here can get some amusement from it:

A dev keeps after me about helping with a long running query he's having trouble with. I listen to him rant about how sql server limitations are holding him back, how we should get rid of sql server and find something that can keep up, NoSQL is what we should be using, etc.

And the query that sql server can't handle?

It's joining udf results, with a number of tables, but notably two tables, one with about 2 million rows to one with about 10 million rows.

Not funny yet?

Probably because I forgot to mention that the 10 million row table was on a linked server that he'd included in the query.

Now is it funny?

C'mon that's funny.

Thanks again