Hmm, let's see, I'm not a very good shot, so I should look at getting something full-auto capable and go for the "spray and pray" method, plus body armor (the wife would kill me if I got shot,) advertising (hmmm,) plus other expenses...
HEY, here's an idea! Maybe a bunch of us could go in together on this, have advertising copy something like this:
"In 2013 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a system administrators court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the IT underground. Today, still wanted by the IT Department, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the SQL-Team."
(Apologies to anyone who needs a new keyboard after that)