Not all the women in IT initiatives are useful. There's a group in my area that I refuse to support and I will not attend their meetings. Why? Both group membership and meeting attendance are women only. Men are not invited and, at least at the TechEd events, not welcome. My personal opinion is that's harming things, not helping.

Also, the one meeting I did attend was partially a 'pity-party'. "Woe is us", "There's no place for us in big companies", "We are discriminated against", etc, etc.

That doesn't help. Sitting and wining, especially when it's in a women-only clique, sends the wrong messages.