Jeff Moden (4/1/2008)

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But wait! Don't order yet! If you're one of the next 100 callers, we throw in a free set of nasal passage widener strips to keep you from snoring and a special turtleneck sweater that will actually keep your head in postion while you sleep. AND, if you call in the next 10 minutes, well upgrade you to the DELUXE package that includes a special USB compatible motion detector so that if anyone approaches you, the software will say in your own voice... "Not now, I have a production issue!" And, just for being so prompt, we'll also include special eyelid decals that make it look like your eyes are actually open! Be sure to tell the operator what your eye color is!