I was having this problem on a development SQL server. Permissions were all correct, and i was able to manage the services remotely using the windows services management console, and the sql service configuration manager, but i was unable to view or modify the service status through the management studio.

The server I'm working on is going to replace an existing server, so it's currently running with a temporary hostname that isn't in DNS. This means I've had to connect to it using the IP address. I found that by adding the server to my hosts file and connecting by name instead of IP, i now get the green arrow and I can manage the instance through SSMS. Not sure why that makes a difference, but it worked for me!