I had the same issue in SSMS and also while using Central Management Server. I found if i had registered the instance with the port defined, for example: SQLHost\Instance, 1433, I got the white circle and could not control the services from there. If I remove the port portion, I get the green arrow and I am able to control the services. Just figured I'd chime in, since this fixed my issue. BTW, I am connecting to SQL 2000, 2005, 2008 and 2008 R2. All of them had the same issue.