Gosh, so many loners in the software/DBA world... no wonder some people get the idea we are nerds lol.

I do enjoy some time alone for contemplation but rarely at lunch. Going to lunch with other people from your place of work is valuable in terms of building relationships on a broader level than you just in a meeting or over by the water cooler.

It is also important to go to lunch with people from other departments than just the guy in the cube next to you. By doing this you broaden your base, develop allies you may need later on and break up your brain focus for a while which can give new insights. You may end up developing some great new friendships as well.

I think the tendency for techies to be loners is not a good trend overall. It doesn't tend to enhance your networking base which can be very important to getting a new job or maybe just keeping an old one.