Well, a little silly at least. I wrote yesterday about winning a gift certificate to ThinkGeek, and wondering what to spend it on. The pocket knife was tempting, but we have a few multi-tools, and honestly I'd probably rarely carry it. Not necessarily a habit for me. So I looked around and came up with:

The PI shirt. I can always use a t-shirt, as Jason suggested recently at the Denver SQL User group meeting. Hey, I'm a geek!

I like wind power, and I send some of these to Andy Leonard for his birthday. I'll mount these wind lights on the flagpole and see how they work.

The math clock. OK, I'm really geeky, but our clock in the kitchen broke and I've been wanting a new one. Not sure Tia will like this, but I think it's fun.

I won $25 from Thinkgeek via Intel from a twitter contest. Can you follow that? I posted a question for @IntelSoftware, they liked it, and sent me a gift certificate. Pretty cool, and so I browsed over there today to look at what might be interesting.

I'm not worried about sticking to $25 exactly, though I don't really want to spent $100 either. However I wasn't sure if I wanted something practical, like this charging station:



Or something silly like this multi-color LED panel:


I could get something practical for myself like a handy knife:



or something cool for Delaney like a water bottle cap:



I'm a little torn over getting something I can use or something silly. Any suggestions? Anything you've liked from ThinkGeek?

What about this for my Porsche:

While I was in Pensacola last weekend, I sat next to Andy Warren and I was telling him about getting my son, ,Delaney a knife for Boy Scouts. My son had earned his Totin' Chip card and was excited to be able to carry one, so I looked on Amazon and got him one. Andy asked me what kind, and I said "blue," which apparently doesn't qualify as a kind of knife.

Andy then showed me his knife, which is nice, it's sharp, it has about a 4" blade on it and it's made from carbon fiber, or so he told me. I said I'd gotten a similar one from Amazon for Delaney, but he was only allowed a 2 1/2" blade, so it was smaller and blue, but the same type of folding knife you see so many people carrying. Then Andy told me he'd paid $200 for this knife.

I have to admit I was shocked. $200 for a knife you carry in your pocket? Seemed like a lot to me. I'd gotten Tia a Skeletool for Christmas, which has a number of things along with a knife that she carries when riding. But it wasn't $200, and I'm not sure I could get $200 out of a knife. Heck, I'm not sure I need one.

But Andy's a tool guy, and I can respect someone that gets what they want. He told me that a knife is handy, and just on the trip up he'd bought a DVD, used his knife to quickly and easily slit it open, no messing with the plastic sealer on the end of it. No effort for him.

I said I'd bought one for Kendall as well, and she opened it right up. No effort or me :)

I have noticed the last few months that there have been a few cases where I could have used a knife, so maybe I'll pick one up for myself. It won't be carbon fiber, however, and definitely not $200.

I hope this isn't real, but I suspect it is.

If this image disappears, I promise not to sue.

I’ve been Twittering about some of these, but I thought I’d condense a few for some fun today. First, a warning.

DO NOT CLICK ANY LINKS

from this blog. Actually I’ll just remove them, but highlight them for your review.

It seems over the last year that I get less SPAM in Outlook, even though I have my filters set pretty low at my email provider and in Outlook. I still get a few, but it’s probably less than a dozen a day, which is kind of amazing.

However a few have slipped through, and I’ve been amused as I’ve glanced through them. I can’t believe that anyone would actually click on a link, but there has been a slightly higher level of creativity in the mails. I’ve included a few below for your amusement.

First I got one from Sgt. Jones in Iraq. The name got me to look because, well, I’m not related, but I wanted to see who’s giving the Jones’ a bad name:

=========

From: Sgt. Joey Jones

Subject: in IRAQ for the United States

Hello,
I hope my e-mail find you well. I need your assistance. My name Is Sgt.Joey Jones, I
am an American soldier with the Bravo Co, 1st Battalion in IRAQ for the United States,
we have* $25,000,000,00, that is in our Possession and we are ready to move it out of
the country.
The money, which is now in the custody of a Security Company, is part of the Money we
seized from late Saddam Hussein but were not declared. Right now I am In the Baghdad
trying to sort out things with the Security Company to ensure A smooth and Unhindered
transfer of the money to you,therefore be assured that the Transfer is safe and risk
free.
My colleague and I need a good partner someone we can trust to actualize this Venture,
but we are moving it through diplomatic means to your house directly Or a safe and
secured location of your choice using a shipping company, but Can we trust you? Once
the funds get to you, you take your 40% out and keep our own 60%, if you are interested
I will furnish you with more details, awaiting your response Contact via this e-mail
(sgtjoeyjones07@live.com),
Sgt. Joey Jones.

====================================================

Then a week or so later I got this one.

====================================================

From: Mrs. Elizabeth Rogers

Subject: HELP ME COMPLETE MY LAST WISH

My Dear in the Lord,  
My name is Mrs. Elizabeth Rogers; I am a dying woman who has decided to donate what I have to you. My husband was a contractor in west Africa, with Texaco oversea for over 10yrs. He died in 2006.
I am 59 years old and I was diagnosed for cancer about 2 years ago, immediately after the death of my husband, who has left me everything he worked for and because the doctors told me I will not live longer than some weeks because of my health,I decided to Will or donate the sum of USD$2,500,000 (Two million five hundred thousand dollars) to you for the good work of humanity, and also to help the motherless and less privilege and also for the assistance of the widows.
I wish you all the best and may the good Lord bless you abundantly, and please use the funds well and always extend the good work to others. Please kindly contact my Attorney for further info:
Contact my Attorney,
CONSOLEX CHAMBERS
Name: Barrister Albert Akpomudje (SAN)
Email: consolexchambers@yahoo.com.hk
Direct Tel: +23480-35410-365
Tell him that I have WILLED (USD$2,500,000.00) to you and I have also notified him, I know I don't know you but I have been directed to do this.
NB: I will appreciate your utmost confidentiality in this matter until the task is accomplished as I don't want anything that will jeopardize my last wish.    
Thanks and God bless.
Mrs. Elizabeth Rogers.

=============================================================

I was somewhat amazed to see “My Dear in the Lord” salutation, but the grammar in the body is pretty funny. Read it out loud.

I periodically read these things because they’re funny, and because I want to warn my Mom about them. She’s not the most savvy internet user, so I am curious to see if any might actually get her. Most won’t, but they do make for a funny break from work sometimes.

Tto the beat of “Rapper’s Delight”

“Now what you hear is not a parse

I'm rapping to the code

'cause me, my tweeps, and the devs

are gonna try to gen a load.

See I am the D-B-A

and I'd like to say hello

to the devs, the PMs, and the boss

that make me want to explode

But first I gotta, query, query

with intellisense and a brand new de-bug-ger

Say lock, don't block,

with the hints to make those latches stop

Well so far you've seen me code, but I brought 2 men along

And next on the mic is dev Mike

C'mon Mike, show those keys

Check out the C-L-R, and the C-T-E,

and the rest is S-Q-L

you see I go by the link "Code-2-Supreme"

and now I'll show you why

You see I know my keys

and identities, both char and I-N-T

I got primary and foreign keys

and DDs to back them up.

I got Assemblies, Partitioned entities

And a queue to make to grin

I've got a package I can integrate

to find that MAX or MIN!

Master PM, am you on?

It's now your turn to spin a yarn

Well it's locks and it's blocks and it's mis-matched socks

and the delays don't stop until I take stock

I'm the PM you hate, when you're late

I've Project and Excel

I've got every estimate that you made

Before this project went to hell!

So get to work, and get it done

Server, instance, database, too

I need them all up running, humming along

and returning results so true.

DBA, it's on you

Show us what you gonna do!

I got a new quad core

sixty-four bit bits

and memory up to the rim

Gonna add some S-S-Ds for speed

and pile on the load for all my sims.

Got Agent jobs, A DR plan,

and procedures for every 'ject

No access I don't let you have

and auditing you won't expect.

Clus-ter-ing, Log shipping,

mirroring across the land

I've got Queues in place, just in case

You break some fiber strands

Have you ever went over a friend's shop to work

and the code just ain't no good?

The cursors are slow, the procedures long

and a box you wouldn't patch if you could!

So he asks what to do, to speed things up

and you sit stunned for a sec

The boss wants to help, a little consult

for some work without a spec.

Then you say, that's it, I got to leave this place,

Don't care what these people think

I'm just asking for trouble without benefits

and a database on the blink

So you bust out the door, hit the road

go back to your own job

check your server, see green lights

stop that head before it throbs

you text your friend two weeks later

to see how he has been

He says sorry about that job

but DBA, we're still friends.“

Enjoy J

I was watching the TechEd 2009 keynote the other day and there was a lot of time spent on Windows 7. They’re making a push to get this product shipping by the 2009 holidays, which means RTM in late Oct. It’s an aggressive timeline, but they should be better at this whole “OS” thing, and my guess is there’s pressure to supersede Vista since it hasn’t been well received.

During the demo, there was one cool thing I saw. Mark Russinovich had a few windows on the screen, he grabbed the header bar of one, and shook it back and forth. The other windows that were in the background disappeared.

I thought that was cool, though I’m not completely sure why I’d do that in practice. The “shrink to fit all on screen” that my iMac has seems more useful.

I had download Windows 7 RC last week, and had it installed in a VM, so I fired it up to see if it worked. It did, though it takes a bit more shaking in a slow VM on my machine.

Another few shakes brought the windows back.

Not sure how useful this is, but it’s kind of funny. Made me think of the Hokey-Pokey

“You shake your Windows away.

You shake your Windows back,

You shake your Windows away

and you shake them all about...”

Star Trek is coming back to theaters soon, and I’ve been watching Season 1 of Star Trek: TNG while running.

It got me thinking. I know it’s a show, and they have to fit their episodes into a model, but wouldn’t there be programmers on the Enterprise? I’d hope by 2520, or whenever it’s set, that programming, and IT, would be more of an engineering discipline, but wouldn’t there be a need on a starship for some IT work? Some bugs would crop up, someone to monitor things, make sure data was intact.

Or at least some BI folks. After all they’re gathering data constantly, wouldn’t there be a need for someone to help work with that data? Wouldn't there be someone that they'd call to help with analyzing things from a data perspective. Besides Data, I mean.

I can see it now:

Wanted: BI Analyst, Galactic class starship Enterprise. Must be able to interpolate all types of alien data patterns, no aversions to non-human life forms and must like working with children.

It’s time. After years of building this site to work with SQL Server, I sold it to Red Gate Software. Part of that transaction meant that I had to work for Red Gate for a period of time afterwards. I think I’ve done a good job in that time, but I don’t own this site anymore, and can’t compete with it contractually.

So I’m going to do this again in the MySQL world.

It’s an untapped environment, full of developers that don’t know an outer join from an index. Lots of my SQL knowledge will transfer over and I’ve been spending time working with various instances of MySQL here at the ranch.

Look for a new community that brings about the best of this one and translates it for the MySQL crowd as I move on from this position.

If you’re still reading, hopefully you have a calendar handy. April Fools! I love this job and have no intention of leaving for the foreseeable future. Nothing against MySQL, but it doesn’t compare to SQL Server.

Kind of funny. I saw this on Twitter the other day from @DanNunan and then someone sent it to me today.

I still like my Kindle more than books, mostly because I can carry so many around. I’ll also note that I get lost in the stories and the Kindle, or paper, disappears. I just read.

Not sure how it will do when I head to the beach, but I’ll let you know.

Last night, Steve Jones, 41, was preparing a pot of brown rice. After feeling all, he was making a bland bowl of rice to get some nourishment and try not to upset his stomach anymore. Placing a pot on the stove to boil, he returned to finishing up some work for his job.

Prior to the invention of laptops, this would have meant his returning to his office to work, and hopefully remembering to check the pot periodically for boiling water. Alas, something that rarely happens and didn’t last night.

Fortunately Steve was working on his laptop in the kitchen and heard the sizzle of rice starting to burn. Jumping up, turning off the gas, and moving the pot resulted in a minor burn on his hand, but no ruined pan, or potential fire in the household.

Thanks to the availability of a laptop, all ended well. These devices have likely prevented many such events from occurring all across the globe as more and more people are able to more closely monitor their meal preparation in this busy world.