Printed 2017/08/17 03:45PM

An open letter to anyone with “SQL Server” on their resume


Dear Sir or Madam,

I have your resume here in my hand and couldn’t help but notice that you have listed several versions of SQL Server in the experience section.  You may be an interviewee for a position in SQL Server, a .NET, or some other IT related discipline.  Regardless of which particular job you’re going for, I would like you to commit a few things to memory regarding the above-mentioned bullet point on your resume. Take these notes as reminders in the kind and helpful manner in which I mean them.

Data Types are Important

If you have touched SQL Server enough to warrant a line on page 1 of your resume, you need to know some of the extreme basics, such as data typesData types are the fundamental building blocks of databases, so take a few minutes to familiarize yourself with a few:

SP_ means System Stored Procedure – Don’t use it

Don’t begin your stored procedures with sp_.  In addition to the reasons listed behind the link, a stored procedure whose name begins with sp_ will cause SQL Server to look in the master database for the SP, before it looks in the current database. That’s what we call a performance hit.  And certainly, don’t be like this guy

Database Objects are Important

Again, if your work with SQL Server warrants a page 1 bullet, it’d be an awfully good idea to know of a few database objects.

Know What you Know

ORMs are not “faster” than SQL Server. Oracle is not “better” than SQL Server (or, necessarily, worse).  SQL Server 2005 didn’t make DTS “better” than SQL Server 2000. There is no SQL Server 2003. There is no SQL Server 2003. There is no SQL Server 2003. There is no SQL Server 2003. There is no SQL Server 2003. There is no SQL Server 2003. There is no SQL Server 2003. 

There is no SQL Server 2003. Know what you know, and don’t claim to know more. 

If you didn’t know most of the above, then you might think about removing SQL Server from your list of skills. 

Helpfully yours,
Jen McCown

P.S. To the folks I have interviewed thus far in 2012: None of this is actually directed at you, but you did inspire me (due to remembered interviews).  Good job, seriously.

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