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The Scary DBA

I have twenty+ years experience in IT. That time was spent in technical support, development and database administration. I work forRed Gate Software as a Product Evangelist. I write articles for publication at SQL Server Central, Simple-Talk, PASS Book Reviews and SQL Server Standard. I have published two books, ”Understanding SQL Server Execution Plans” and “SQL Server 2008 Query Performance Tuning Distilled.” I’m one of the founding officers of the Southern New England SQL Server Users Group and its current president. I also work on part-time, short-term, off-site consulting contracts. In 2009 and 2010 I was awarded as a Microsoft SQL Server MVP. In the past I’ve been called rough, intimidating and scary. To which I usually reply, “Good.” You can contact me through grant -at- scarydba dot kom (unobfuscate as necessary).

Time for a Quick Rant

This is an actual quote from what we can only assume is a functional human being:

The database is very big so we stopped taking backup’s.

Eight lords a leaping are you kidding me? Seriously! Seriously? By the Great Gu and all the Valkyries in Valhalla, you stopped taking backups of your PRODUCTION database because it was “very big.” And I’ll put down Brobdingnagian stacks of cash that “very big” in this case is probably 200-500gb or at worst 1-2tb. People, assuming you have enough brain stem intact to regulate breathing, you must know, you must by all the sparkly vampires in Twighlight KNOW that you need to have backups. Right? I mean, nothing ever goes wrong on this shiny marble we call Dirt, does it? No one would EVER just run a DELETE statement in production without a WHERE clause, would they you hairy bottomed tree climbing mouth breather? And I’m sure that, if it happened, you could just blow magic unicorn powder at the server in order to get the company’s billing list back, right? Because without that backup, you’re relying on the undivided attention, and total positive intent, of Odin and Freya to ensure that you never, oh, I don’t know, lose power causing the rocker arm on the disk to bash down repeatedly on the platter like Thor’s Hammer on an Ice Giant’s head, with similar results for your database. Until you have so much data that EMC hosts your company’s holiday party, for free, there is enough disk space, somewhere, to take a backup of your database.

Now, get out there and get it done. Don’t make me travel to each and every one of your places of work with the lead-weighted hickory learning bat to lay some education up side your beanie holder. Please, just take a backup.

I really mean it this time. Backup your database

I really mean it this time. Backup your database

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