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One for My SQL Sisters

Women, for the entire male half of the population, I apologize.

Those who know me well recognize, pretty easily, that I am hardly “politically correct.” My mode of address can be blunt and even rude. But… I think it’s also recognized that I’m very even-handed with my blunt statements. Female or male, if you have in some way crossed me, I’m generally pretty clear about letting you know. So while I absolutely have prejudices (and I won’t get into what I think mine are), they are not around Male/Female abilities. Yes, there are differences between the sexes coming from a million+ years of biology and Darwinism, but by & large, especially when talking about cognitive abilities, we’re evenly matched.

In the computing world, I’m an “old guy.” With three or four exceptions (and you know who I mean) when in a group in the SQL Server community I’m usually one of the oldest. I’m coming from multiple decades in computing. Further, I spent another decade plus outside of computing in the working world. I’ve worked with and worked for, learned from and taught, a very large number of people over all those years. Many would ask, “Lordy dude, how in heck are you still so dense?” Ignoring that for a moment, I have managed to learn a few things in all that time. One of the things I’ve learned is that no one group has cornered the market on stupidity or genius. As an example, I had a manager who was a glorious leader and mentor that I would have marched through fire for. It just so happens she was a she and that fact had nothing to do with her ability to lead, teach, program or manage, from absolute authority on the technical aspects of the job.

I bring this up because of the event referenced in Steve Jones recent editorial. Read that now.

I’m with Steve. I’m just stunned. Stunned, angry and ashamed. Stunned because I keep thinking that surely people who use their brains all the time are capable of a little more thought. Angry because I know so many magnificent, capable, learned, TECHNICAL, women that I’ve learned from (Kim, Kalen, Jes, Karen, Kathi, Jen, Jen again, Gail, Erin, Vicky, I can keep going) making this statement utterly asinine. Ashamed because once more an unsavory individual  is making us, men, look like idiots (and some of us do a fine job of that on our own, thank you very much).

To the individual who did this. This attitude is unacceptable. It’s wrong. If  you’re in charge of a user group, step down. Get out of the way. Your attitude is not wanted in this community. Hell, it’s not wanted in polite society. Your beliefs are vile. Be a real man. Apologize for what you did. Your user group doesn’t share your beliefs even if you think they do. In fact, there are women in your user group, aren’t there. It’s pretty unlikely they share your ignorant, prejudiced, backward attitude. You have no excuse.

Other guys. Don’t. Just don’t.

Again, I apologize for this. He is NOT representative of this excellent group of people that we refer to as SQL Family.

The Scary DBA

I have twenty+ years experience in IT. That time was spent in technical support, development and database administration. I work forRed Gate Software as a Product Evangelist. I write articles for publication at SQL Server Central, Simple-Talk, PASS Book Reviews and SQL Server Standard. I have published two books, ”Understanding SQL Server Execution Plans” and “SQL Server 2008 Query Performance Tuning Distilled.” I’m one of the founding officers of the Southern New England SQL Server Users Group and its current president. I also work on part-time, short-term, off-site consulting contracts. In 2009 and 2010 I was awarded as a Microsoft SQL Server MVP. In the past I’ve been called rough, intimidating and scary. To which I usually reply, “Good.” You can contact me through grant -at- scarydba dot kom (unobfuscate as necessary).


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