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The Scary DBA

I have twenty+ years experience in IT. That time was spent in technical support, development and database administration. I work forRed Gate Software as a Product Evangelist. I write articles for publication at SQL Server Central, Simple-Talk, PASS Book Reviews and SQL Server Standard. I have published two books, ”Understanding SQL Server Execution Plans” and “SQL Server 2008 Query Performance Tuning Distilled.” I’m one of the founding officers of the Southern New England SQL Server Users Group and its current president. I also work on part-time, short-term, off-site consulting contracts. In 2009 and 2010 I was awarded as a Microsoft SQL Server MVP. In the past I’ve been called rough, intimidating and scary. To which I usually reply, “Good.” You can contact me through grant -at- scarydba dot kom (unobfuscate as necessary).

Archives: March 2013

Execution Plans in Azure SQL Database

Microsoft has stated pretty clearly that they’re putting code on Azure first, ahead of the desktop. Which makes one wonder when we’re going to start to see some of this cool stuff within SSMS. What cool stuff you ask? Well, let me explain. Let’s start with a query:

SELECT	m.MovieName,…

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5 comments, 3,539 reads

Posted in The Scary DBA on 25 March 2013

Laws You Break at Your Peril

Laws of Thermodynamics


Gods of the Copybook Headings

All magic comes with a price

Winter Is Coming

My adult years started with a pretty thorough education in physics thanks to Uncle Sugar and the Navy Nuclear Power School. The laws of thermodynamics were carved into our brains (along with… Read more

8 comments, 854 reads

Posted in The Scary DBA on 20 March 2013

Star Trek and the Death of IT


I feel slightly better, but only slightly.

I started watching Star Trek: The Next Generation on Netflix just to unwind my brain and relax a little. Instead of relaxation I found myself pacing back and forth in front of the television, gesticulating wildly, with a string expletives coming out… Read more

8 comments, 1,118 reads

Posted in The Scary DBA on 18 March 2013

Time to Chat

The greatest part of my job is that I get to travel all over the world to present different technical sessions. But, it’s not the presentations that make it cool. It’s the fact that I get to meet people. I get a chance to hang out with my #sqlfamily. I… Read more

3 comments, 1,170 reads

Posted in The Scary DBA on 11 March 2013

Pro SQL Server 2012 Practices: Chapter 17

I jumped at the opportunity to write a chapter for this book, Pro SQL Server 2012 Practices, because of all the fantastic people writing and the topics that were covered. I reviewed Chapter 12 a few weeks ago and I’ve been meaning to get this chapter, Big Data for… Read more

0 comments, 1,691 reads

Posted in The Scary DBA on 4 March 2013