I didn’t want to repeat the Night Before Upgrade again this year, so I wrote something new. Go ahead, sing along, you know the tune!

Go, they told me, pa rum pum pum pum

The D-B-A to see, pa rum pum pum pum

Your query runs too slow, pa rum pum pum pum

The reason why he’ll know, pa rum pum pum pum,

rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

Bribe him with bacon, pa rum pum pum pum,

He’s a fan.

Mister D-B-A, pa rum pum pum pum

I need your help today, pa rum pum pum pum

My code is not so great, pa rum pum pum pum

Cuz I used Hibernate, pa rum pum pum pum,

rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

Could you please take a look, pa rum pum pum pum,

At my plan?

Very shocking, pa rum pum pum pum

You’re likely blocking, pa rum pum pum pum

Let’s check your data types, pa rum pum pum pum

Odds are they’re wrong he snipes, pa rum pum pum pum,

rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

Then he smiled at me, pa rum pum pum pum

Look, table scan.