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Is There Something Wrong With The Database?

I can think of no other simple phrase that has the same pent up potential to ignite the most colourful of discussions amongst technical professionals.

Yes, it’s Meme Monday time. A creation brought to life by Thomas Larock (Blog|Twitter) that places but a single requirement on an author and that is to write something. Surprisingly hard to do at times but when the idea, that all elusive initial spark is placed before you like a gift, well there is nothing left to do but to write dear reader. This weeks meme “dumb SQL questions”.

"pondering dumb sql questions perhaps"

Ah where to begin. The philosophical amongst us will of course proclaim that there is no such thing surely, as a dumb SQL question. We all started at the very beginning after all and no doubt had the very same questions ourselves. Bah, too easy. Boring I say. No instead of discussing just any old dumb sql question I require a challenge, to take it up a notch if you will, a challenge to identify THE dumbest of SQL questions. A question that is both the pinnacle of all that is daft and wonderful about dumb sql questions.

I think you’ll agree that I have chosen wisely. Yes it is that most cringe worthy of questions to glide through the air, a screeching sound on the ear of the Database Administrator and yet such a perfectly valid, even reasonable notion at the same time. It’s every DBAs favourite phrase to hear, “Is there something wrong with the database?”. To which the only reasonable stock answer is…….

Of Course NOT! Every DBA knows that there of course is never anything wrong with the database ;-)

Sure I could tell you exactly how to approach answering such a loaded question, fraught with obscurity and danger, in my typically concise and methodical manner but then where would the fun be in that? No, instead I would much prefer to hear your tales from the DBA trenches. In the true spirit of what is Meme Monday, to write, I encourage you to share a story or two of when you have been on the receiving end of this little gem. I bet you’ve got some great tales to share and you can do so in the comments below or even write your own blog post should the mood take you. So dare I ask then dear reader, “Is there something wrong with the database?”.

John Sansom - SQL Server DBA in the UK

John Sansom (Blog | Twitter) is a Microsoft Certified Master (MCM) of SQL Server and publisher of the free SQL community ebook DBA JumpStart, an inspiring collection of advice for Data Professionals, written by 20 SQL Server experts. Awarded the Microsoft Community Contributor(MCC) award, John is a prolific blogger and can be found regularly writing about SQL Server and Professional Development over at www.johnsansom.com.


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