T-SQL is a very forgiving language. As long as you have the basic syntax of the statement correct, SQL Server assumes you know what you’re doing and it will gladly do your bidding for you.

But anyone who has written queries for very long will tell you that not all queries are created equally. Some return with results in under a second; we like those almost as much as we like bacon. Almost. Some take a few minutes to mull over the data and get back to you; that’s like fake bacon. And alas, some queries will run for eternity minus one.

So what’s the difference? And how can we go for the bacon and avoid the fake bacon and eternity minus one queries?

That’s the topic of a presentation I’m delivering at the Steel City SQL Server User Group meeting next week. If you’re in the Central Alabama area, I hope you’ll come out and join me.