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T-SQL Haiku Expand / Collapse
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Posted Wednesday, June 25, 2008 6:57 AM


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Ken Simmons (6/24/2008)
DROP DATABASE FILE
IF NO BACKUP TO RESTORE
BEGIN TO DENY


ROFL!

Beautiful, Ken.


-- RBarryYoung, (302)375-0451 blog: MovingSQL.com, Twitter: @RBarryYoung
Proactive Performance Solutions, Inc.
"Performance is our middle name."
Post #523250
Posted Thursday, June 26, 2008 8:07 AM
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How about the following?

BEGIN TO COMMIT
WHEN RECEIVE DUMP
THEN END CONVERSATION

Kind of silly, but I got a laugh out of it...
especially when I considered how RELATIONAL it is :D:P

Steve
(aka smunson)
:D:D:D


Steve
(aka sgmunson)

Internet ATM Machine
Post #524202
Posted Thursday, June 26, 2008 9:14 AM


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smunson (6/26/2008)
How about the following?

BEGIN TO COMMIT
WHEN RECEIVE DUMP
THEN END CONVERSATION

Kind of silly, but I got a laugh out of it...
especially when I considered how RELATIONAL it is :D:P

Steve
(aka smunson)
:D:D:D

It does not conform to the rules. The "Haiku" are supposed to consist of 3 lines, with 5 syllables in the first line, 7 syllables in the second and 5 syllables in the last line. Yours is (4,4,6), not (5,7,5).


-- RBarryYoung, (302)375-0451 blog: MovingSQL.com, Twitter: @RBarryYoung
Proactive Performance Solutions, Inc.
"Performance is our middle name."
Post #524292
Posted Thursday, June 26, 2008 9:59 AM
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OOPS !!! Wasn't familiar with the specifics on that... here's a fix:

BEGIN TO COMMIT
WHEN RECEIVE CONTAINS DUMP THEN
END CONVERSATION

Turns out I did have 5 on line 1, but then it was 4 and 6 instead of 7 and 5.

Steve
(aka smunson)
:):):)

rbarryyoung (6/26/2008)
smunson (6/26/2008)
How about the following?

BEGIN TO COMMIT
WHEN RECEIVE DUMP
THEN END CONVERSATION

Kind of silly, but I got a laugh out of it...
especially when I considered how RELATIONAL it is :D:P

Steve
(aka smunson)
:D:D:D

It does not conform to the rules. The "Haiku" are supposed to consist of 3 lines, with 5 syllables in the first line, 7 syllables in the second and 5 syllables in the last line. Yours is (4,4,6), not (5,7,5).


Steve
(aka sgmunson)

Internet ATM Machine
Post #524331
Posted Thursday, June 26, 2008 10:41 PM
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SQL pick up line...

GETDATE FOR USER
IF LANGUAGE IS NOT FOREIGN
TRY CONVERSATION

Post #524753
Posted Thursday, June 26, 2008 10:59 PM
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...or if that doesn't work...

NO CONVERSATION
WAITFOR END OF DAY AND THEN
TRY UNION INSTEAD



Post #524761
Posted Friday, June 27, 2008 6:39 AM
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Well, Ivanna, that makes a total of three RELATIONAL verses in T-SQL Haiku... How database is that ???? :D:D:D

And as long as we're using a RELATIONAL language, how about:

IF DATE IS DATEFIRST
THEN TRY NOT HAVING ANY
INSERT INTO DATE

:D:D:D

Not sure if I'll get away with this one though... It's a cautionary tale, if that helps...

Steve
(aka smunson)
:):):)


Steve
(aka sgmunson)

Internet ATM Machine
Post #524925
Posted Friday, June 27, 2008 10:32 AM
Hall of Fame

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master full user
values unique union
with distinct order




Regards
Rudy Komacsar
Senior Database Administrator

"Ave Caesar! - Morituri te salutamus."
Post #525179
Posted Friday, June 27, 2008 11:26 AM
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kill current user
and begin to shutdown key
user database




Regards
Rudy Komacsar
Senior Database Administrator

"Ave Caesar! - Morituri te salutamus."
Post #525216
Posted Friday, June 27, 2008 11:29 AM


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rudy komacsar (6/27/2008)
master full user
values unique union
with distinct order
or schemabinding! :P


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your lack of planning does not constitute an emergency on my part...unless you're my manager...or a director and above...or a really loud-spoken end-user..All right - what was my emergency again?
Post #525220
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