InstantForum.NET v2.9.0SQLServerCentralhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/notifications@sqlservercentral.comSat, 25 May 2013 01:01:32 GMT20http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspxGreat article, completely spot on! Definitely enlightened my day (including the responses).Of course, when we were kids, we were never like that on road trips, were we.... :Whistling::ermm:Wed, 21 May 2008 12:21:11 GMTIan Crandellhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspx[quote][b]sushila (5/15/2008)[/b][hr]I've long enjoyed David's writing style and humor - both in his posts and his articles - this was fun reading!I think there's another distinct analogy lurking between end users and turds!!! :hehe:[/quote]My first thought was, "I'm not going to shake hands with [b][i][u]those[/u][/i][/b] kids after they've been squeezing turds between thumb and forefinger." :w00t:We had a secretary who asked me why all the developers spend so much time in the bathroom. I replied, "You know we are just full of ..." :hehe:Thu, 15 May 2008 09:40:04 GMTCharles Kincaidhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspx[quote][b]David.Poole (5/15/2008)[/b][hr]Hi,I'm Dave's wife, I can recommend an earlier article " users from hell", I am fairly computer illiterate but still managed to split my sides over that one myself!. Another good bet for yourself is "users from hell 2" - but don't show it to the boss - he'll think your having a pop at him!!!Good luck with the appraisal!All the bestKate Poole[/quote]Thanks Kate. Surely I will go thru that also......:w00t:Thu, 15 May 2008 09:28:49 GMTAnipaulhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspxI for one am eagerly anticipating Part II, where we get to hear about multi-phase projects, and no doubt the highly useful Phase II/refactoring tool as shown here:[url=http://www.drillspot.com/products/333425/Tolco_280300_Toilet_Bowl_Brush]Major Refactoring tool[/url]Thu, 15 May 2008 06:52:15 GMTMatt Miller (#4)http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspxI've long enjoyed David's writing style and humour - both in his posts and his articles - this was fun reading!I think there's another distinct analogy lurking between end users and turds!!! :hehe:Thu, 15 May 2008 06:02:37 GMTsushilahttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspxHi,I'm Dave's wife, I can recommend an earlier article " users from hell", I am fairly computer illiterate but still managed to split my sides over that one myself!. Another good bet for yourself is "users from hell 2" - but don't show it to the boss - he'll think your having a pop at him!!!Good luck with the appraisal!All the bestKate PooleThu, 15 May 2008 03:51:48 GMTDavid.Poolehttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspxEven it made my 'boring boss' laugh. Thanks David, please give me 2-3 same type of articles to make him laugh, Appraisal coming ;):hehe::w00t:Wed, 14 May 2008 22:25:42 GMTAnipaulhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspx:blush:I'm a first time rater, and after enjoying your clever analogy, I reckoned I'd give it 5 stars. Of course, like any dumb user, I started with the "first" star, and so managed to give you a 1-star rating. Life does indeed imitate software development.:crazy:Wed, 14 May 2008 19:42:22 GMTTrixterhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspx[quote] Australian phraseology should be required reading in schools [/quote]As an Aussie, fresh from the homeland, I got a job with an international company in Amsterdam. During my 3 month pay review, they failed me at English - no one at the company could understand me! So then I learnt to talk proper, and all my friends back in Oz thought I sounded like a Pom. Sigh.Loved the article - great portrayal of the development process; which appears to be a constant in any land or language!Wed, 14 May 2008 19:37:49 GMTJohn Colin Willaimshttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspxWhat a riot! I laughed out loud especially at the end. Well done, David!In the same vein, someone needs to write an article on how to be politically correct at work (I am not...). Wed, 14 May 2008 15:15:30 GMTJeff Modenhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspx[quote][b]David.Poole (5/14/2008)[/b]...Australian phraseology should be required reading in schools....[/quote]Once upon a time I had two copies of a wonderful book: The Complete Guide to Australian Profanity and Vulgarity. Wonderful stuff! My brother read part of it, and whenever he went out for an evening of darts, whenever someone flubbed a throw he'd shout out "Good goin', ace!" No, he didn't get into any fights.[i]('ace' = the portion of one's anatomy that one sits upon for those who don't know)[/i]Wed, 14 May 2008 15:02:15 GMTWayne Westhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspxMy boss stuck her head up over her cube wall and looked around after I laughed out loud at this post....very well done! I'm sending this to the team....Wed, 14 May 2008 15:01:46 GMTJason Marshallhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspx[quote]Ah the linguistic differences again. Took me a bit to remember that "pinching" is slang for "stealing". Like the fact that a nickname is the name [b][i][u]they[/u][/i][/b] gave you when you were in the [i]Nick[/i].[/quote]The comment that Great Britain and America are countries divided by a foreign language rings true.I used to work for the UK branch of New England Business Stationery and we had some truly wonderful misunderstandings.The American director(vice president) who told a belligerent scouse girl not to run in the factory or else she would fall on her fanny. He was lucky to get out of there with his life:w00t: Imagine shouting [b]BOO[/b] in a battery chicken shed and you've got the reaction, only with more ruffled feathers.The look on said American gentleman's face when the factory foreman who asked if he had been for a fag in the bushes (fag = cigarette in Great Britain).Its even better when you start talking with South Africans. I heard one describe sandals as "Australian Wedding Shoes".Australian phraseology should be required reading in schools. There appears to be a colourful phrase for just about every annoyance in life.It gets even better if you start to look at other languages. There is a Punjabi phrase for saying that someone is a bit of a Romeo. If you've never heard Punjabi in your life it is one of those sayings that is instantly understandable and truly cross-cultural.For all the efforts that the powers that be make to try and get people from different cultures to mix they could do a lot worse than get the best comedians from each culture to put on a huge comedy store show.Wed, 14 May 2008 14:10:05 GMTDavid.Poolehttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspxKudos David - Outstanding! Made my day.Wed, 14 May 2008 13:46:54 GMTTodd Taylorhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspx[quote][b]David.Poole (5/14/2008)[/b][hr]I forgot to mention that the museum curator told me that he has to replace the "turd" at frequent intervals because kids keep pinching it.For all you parents out there take note, it is not that many shopping days until Christmas and you don't want to blow your hard earned cash on something expensive they don't want if a foam rubber turd is going to keep them amused:D[/quote]Ah the linguistic differences again. Took me a bit to remember that "pinching" is slang for "stealing". Like the fact that a nickname is the name [b][i][u]they[/u][/i][/b] gave you when you were in the [i]Nick[/i].I think that it was watching "Top Gear" that clued me in to what a "ring road" is.Wed, 14 May 2008 13:42:17 GMTCharles Kincaidhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspxGlad you all enjoyed it.I forgot to mention that the museum curator told me that he has to replace the "turd" at frequent intervals because kids keep pinching it.For all you parents out there take note, it is not that many shopping days until Christmas and you don't want to blow your hard earned cash on something expensive they don't want if a foam rubber turd is going to keep them amused:DWed, 14 May 2008 12:39:12 GMTDavid.Poolehttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspx[quote][b]Charles Kincaid (5/14/2008)[/b][hr][quote]It's a round trip of 170 miles and quite expensive for a day trip but its just about possible.[/quote] I guess the roads are much different than in the US. That's about 90 minutes out and 90 back around here.Sometimes software development makes as much sense as putting an Interstate Highway in Hawaii. Oh wait. There are [url=http://maps.yahoo.com/#mvt=m&lat=21.35753&lon=-157.959857&zoom=13]two[/url]![/quote]Of course - according to Einstein, time is relative. In this case, realtive to whether you're IN the car (with the "are we there yet" ad infinitum) or not. So - 90 minutes might turn into an eternity...:):hehe:Wed, 14 May 2008 12:23:37 GMTMatt Miller (#4)http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspxIf you arrived at the end of this story and did not have at least a smile on your face, you are not truly in the software developoment business. I am in the midst of my own escapade and found this tale a most delightful interruption. If only we took more time to really analyze our craft and enjoy it for the organized chaos it truly is.Uh oh. Gotta go. I just heard one of my users flush...Wed, 14 May 2008 12:03:53 GMTJim McClintockhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspxI enjoyed this when David sent it in and hoped it would be received well.Perhaps all this attention will get Mr Poole writing a bit more. He's good at it and I'd urge you to view his other articles, which are technically very well done as well as written with style.Wed, 14 May 2008 11:15:09 GMTSteve Jones - SSC Editorhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspx[quote]It's a round trip of 170 miles and quite expensive for a day trip but its just about possible.[/quote] I guess the roads are much different than in the US. That's about 90 minutes out and 90 back around here.Sometimes software development makes as much sense as putting an Interstate Highway in Hawaii. Oh wait. There are [url=http://maps.yahoo.com/#mvt=m&lat=21.35753&lon=-157.959857&zoom=13]two[/url]!Wed, 14 May 2008 10:15:08 GMTCharles Kincaidhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspxSorry I could only rate the article "Excellent" when it really deserved an "Outstanding". It was very well written and entertaining; an excellent way to start the day.Wed, 14 May 2008 09:28:58 GMTTimberwolfhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspx[quote][b]Raymond Wood (5/14/2008)[/b][hr]I loved the psuedo "Are we there yet?". Thanks for taking the time![/quote]Don't forget the "How much longer?" chant rejoinder!Wed, 14 May 2008 09:21:45 GMTWayne Westhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspxHeh. Very good! I find your writing style very reminiscent of Phil Factor's, maybe it's a Brit thing. :hehe:I'm constantly amazed at how distance is relative. We went to Albuquerque two weeks ago for the day, specifically for my wife to play in a harp circle (which canceled after we were assured, before the drive, that they were doing it).Round trip? About 500 miles. Out of pocket? Probably $200ish including petrol and dinner since we plundered Trader Joe's for yummy comestibles.Heck, it's 100 miles one-way if I go home to Cloudcroft on the weekend, which I like to do a couple of times a month.For space stuff, we have a space museum in Alamogordo (NM) about 20 miles from our house that features g-force test sleds that were used at White Sands Missile Range and the top part of a Saturn V booster that was used to test the emergency escape rocket for the Apollo capsule, among other things. (it also has a mock-up of a GPS satellite, which is pretty cool). And 30 miles from my apartment in Las Cruces is the White Sands Missile Range Missile Park/Museum which has an MLRS battery, a restored and cutaway V-2 rocket, and a Darth Vader helmet that was used in the filming of the original Star Wars trilogy autographed by various LucasArts people.So we have some cool space stuff around here. Oh, we also have the Trinity site, where the first atomic bomb was detonated, about 200 miles from here. It's open to the public two days a year.My wife, from the east coast (sorta) is constantly complaining that to easterner Americans 100 miles is a long way and to westerners 100 years is old.Wed, 14 May 2008 09:21:03 GMTWayne Westhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspxI loved the psuedo "Are we there yet?". Thanks for taking the time!Wed, 14 May 2008 09:18:20 GMTRaymond Woodhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspxPerfect. Thanks for the smile.Wed, 14 May 2008 09:17:46 GMTRick Burrowshttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspx"Frankly if you don't think this is a good analogy for software development ..."I don't know about that. I've been on several projects that the end of your day's activities are a direct analogy for those projects as management tried over and over again to keep the already dead horse pulling the empty cart. I had not thought of those times as repeatedly flushing a turd down the drain but it works for me now!Wed, 14 May 2008 08:39:30 GMTRick Curryhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspxLOL. I love analogies, too. Finding the right one (as you did) is fantastic.Wed, 14 May 2008 08:32:47 GMTJulie Breutzmannhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspxThanks for the laughs! As a Father of three daughters, I too often experience these same shifting requirements and post implementation surprises. Of course I wouldn't trade it for anything. :)Wed, 14 May 2008 08:28:21 GMTPeter Shirehttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspx[b]Thank you, thank you[/b] ... when I read your last paragraph I actually laughed out loud, now my cube mates are wondering if I am OK or certifiable as a mental case.Wed, 14 May 2008 08:21:38 GMTbitbucket-25253http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspxI LOVE analogies, and this hits the nail right on the head!Thanks for a smile that will last all day!Wed, 14 May 2008 08:00:37 GMTCarla Wilson-484785http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspxBrilliant!! The analagy holds up to rigorous scrutiny. Glad to see the project was a success.Wed, 14 May 2008 07:44:48 GMTLux-694307http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspxYour analogy is like an analogy. (Very funny. Phil Factor will love it.)Wed, 14 May 2008 07:06:18 GMTGSquaredhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspxOutstanding.Not only does it remind me of WAY too many of the projects I've worked on, it also reminds me of WAY too many trips with the kids.Wed, 14 May 2008 06:26:01 GMTGrant Fritcheyhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspxThanks. I NEEDED this today. This one will be making the rounds in IT here.Wed, 14 May 2008 06:19:06 GMTG Bryant McClellanhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspxVery nicely done. Well worth perusing. Light-hearted, fun, and spoke to the truth in our work.Wed, 14 May 2008 06:15:26 GMTgischimphttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspx. . . I will suffer an irrepressible smile all day -- right after I send this article link to my clients !:DWed, 14 May 2008 05:44:12 GMTFormer Memberhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspxits only 35 miles from me so wondering whether my six year old would enjoy or feel like the deliverable didnt match up to his visions/expectations of x-wings and deathstars flying around etcsiWed, 14 May 2008 05:33:17 GMTSimon_Lhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspxExcellent! While I am now in the USA, I went to Manchester University, so the mention of Jodrell Bank got my attention right away.Peter.Wed, 14 May 2008 05:22:54 GMTpkennyhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspxBrilliant!Wed, 14 May 2008 05:15:12 GMTeric.gunnhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic500171-60-1.aspxDefinitely a good chuckle and it also strikes me that while I have a great plan to use a nice process to correctly identify data needed to complete a change, someone always gets distracted and sends the plan down the drain.;)BrianWed, 14 May 2008 05:01:25 GMTBrian Munier