InstantForum.NET v2.9.0SQLServerCentralhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/notifications@sqlservercentral.comThu, 23 May 2013 09:45:07 GMT20http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspx[quote][b]bradmcgehee@hotmail.com (1/19/2012)[/b][hr][quote][b]Mhlewis (1/18/2012)[/b][hr][quote][b]TravisDBA (1/18/2012)[/b][hrIt must be nice to be at a point in life where you can choose that. and have an extra income to support that decision vis-a-vis your husband. However, in many cases, for the rest of us working one income DBA's it's not a choice, its part of the job, period. Find a DBA job where it's not 24/7 on-call and I will jump for it. Fat chance though, because most are. Most DBA's I know are not married women with kids anyway (for exactly the reasons you state above), it rinses them out very quickly, and they usually ended up leaving because of pressure from hubby anyway. So your current situation is not typical in our field by a long shot. We all wish we could relax at home and read the latest SQL journal, but that is not the real world. But I am happy for you anyway. You got a sweet deal.:-D[/quote]I think any woman who knows that she wants a career (not just a job) and family has to plan for it way far in advance. We have it drilled into us starting very early. I'm not sure that this is something that my male counterparts hear very often in their career planning. I was also very luckily to hit peak earning years during a tech and economic boom. I feel for anyone just starting out now. We hit rough waters at the start of crash, my husband lost his contract after just finishing his MBA, so I was the sole earner (while pregnant!). If it came down to it I would have been sleeping with the pager again. MWise[/quote]This is an editorial, with the sole purpose to get people to think about their careers and their home life. There are no "right" answers.[/quote]I agree, I am happy for her, as I said, she's got a sweet deal. :-DThu, 19 Jan 2012 13:24:39 GMTTravisDBAhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspx[quote][b]Tracy McKibben (1/19/2012)[/b][hr][quote][b]TravisDBA (1/19/2012)[/b][hr]How many db servers are you reponsible for? That sounds like a slow-paced static shop that doesn't have alot of changes occuring, either in the hardware environment or in the software applications. Different story all together in a fast-paced, fast-changing environment. A lot of DBA's are doing as much automation as they can given the circumstances to relieve constant phone calls, but that does still not get you totally off the hook when you are responsible for 200 db servers versus 20. :-D[/quote]19 production servers, mix of 2000/2005/2008R2, another 20 or so non-production.Production code changes occur monthly, during scheduled release windows.Between those windows code is promoted from Dev to a pair of QA environments, then to a "pre-production" staging environment.Rarely does something get to prod that is just flat-out broken, but we frequently have performance issues to deal with for a few days after these monthly deployments.It's far from slow-paced...[/quote]You think that is fast paced, try 200 dude!!!:-DThu, 19 Jan 2012 12:41:51 GMTTravisDBAhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspx[quote][b]Mhlewis (1/18/2012)[/b][hr][quote][b]TravisDBA (1/18/2012)[/b][hrIt must be nice to be at a point in life where you can choose that. and have an extra income to support that decision vis-a-vis your husband. However, in many cases, for the rest of us working one income DBA's it's not a choice, its part of the job, period. Find a DBA job where it's not 24/7 on-call and I will jump for it. Fat chance though, because most are. Most DBA's I know are not married women with kids anyway (for exactly the reasons you state above), it rinses them out very quickly, and they usually ended up leaving because of pressure from hubby anyway. So your current situation is not typical in our field by a long shot. We all wish we could relax at home and read the latest SQL journal, but that is not the real world. But I am happy for you anyway. You got a sweet deal.:-D[/quote]I think any woman who knows that she wants a career (not just a job) and family has to plan for it way far in advance. We have it drilled into us starting very early. I'm not sure that this is something that my male counterparts hear very often in their career planning. I was also very luckily to hit peak earning years during a tech and economic boom. I feel for anyone just starting out now. We hit rough waters at the start of crash, my husband lost his contract after just finishing his MBA, so I was the sole earner (while pregnant!). If it came down to it I would have been sleeping with the pager again. MWise[/quote]This is an editorial, with the sole purpose to get people to think about their careers and their home life. There are no "right" answers.Thu, 19 Jan 2012 08:36:29 GMTbradmcgehee@hotmail.comhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspx@TravisDBAYou are such a downer dude... lolThu, 19 Jan 2012 08:27:27 GMTstephen99999http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspx[quote][b]TravisDBA (1/19/2012)[/b][hr]How many db servers are you reponsible for? That sounds like a slow-paced static shop that doesn't have alot of changes occuring, either in the hardware environment or in the software applications. Different story all together in a fast-paced, fast-changing environment. A lot of DBA's are doing as much automation as they can given the circumstances to relieve constant phone calls, but that does still not get you totally off the hook when you are responsible for 200 db servers versus 20. :-D[/quote]19 production servers, mix of 2000/2005/2008R2, another 20 or so non-production.Production code changes occur monthly, during scheduled release windows.Between those windows code is promoted from Dev to a pair of QA environments, then to a "pre-production" staging environment.Rarely does something get to prod that is just flat-out broken, but we frequently have performance issues to deal with for a few days after these monthly deployments.It's far from slow-paced...Thu, 19 Jan 2012 08:09:40 GMTTracy McKibbenhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspx[quote][b]Tracy McKibben (1/18/2012)[/b][hr][quote][b]Marios Philippopoulos (1/18/2012)[/b][hr]I have been following this discussion and get the feeling some of you are on call "all the time"?!How is that possible without ending up in a burnout? I am in a 4-DBA rotation, doing call one week out of every month. I hate it but I can handle it. I don't how I would be able to cope with a higher on-call frequency though.Being on call all the time must be what hell is like...:-)[/quote]I'm on-call 24x7x365, no rotation. All alerts come to my phone, the escalation tree includes my phone number. At first, it was horrible, I've had to leave restaurants in the middle of a meal. As things progressed, I started taking steps to make the recurring issues self-healing, or just buttoning things up to the point where the issues don't occur in the first place.Today, 4 years or so later, I rarely get called for anything. In fact, I can't remember the last time a call was escalated to me. Maybe once a week I'll get an alert for blocking (which I ignore unless they continue coming), or an alert because replication has fallen behind. By being on call like this, I was forced to deal with the pain, or learn ways to minimize it. I chose to learn, and now I'm reaping the rewards.[/quote]How many db servers are you reponsible for? That sounds like a slow-paced static shop that doesn't have alot of changes occuring, either in the hardware environment or in the software applications. Different story all together in a fast-paced, fast-changing environment. A lot of DBA's are doing as much automation as they can given the circumstances to relieve constant phone calls, but that does still not get you totally off the hook when you are responsible for 200 db servers versus 20. :-DThu, 19 Jan 2012 07:52:55 GMTTravisDBAhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspx[quote][b]Marios Philippopoulos (1/18/2012)[/b][hr]I have been following this discussion and get the feeling some of you are on call "all the time"?!How is that possible without ending up in a burnout? I am in a 4-DBA rotation, doing call one week out of every month. I hate it but I can handle it. I don't how I would be able to cope with a higher on-call frequency though.Being on call all the time must be what hell is like...:-)[/quote]I'm on-call 24x7x365, no rotation. All alerts come to my phone, the escalation tree includes my phone number. At first, it was horrible, I've had to leave restaurants in the middle of a meal. As things progressed, I started taking steps to make the recurring issues self-healing, or just buttoning things up to the point where the issues don't occur in the first place.Today, 4 years or so later, I rarely get called for anything. In fact, I can't remember the last time a call was escalated to me. Maybe once a week I'll get an alert for blocking (which I ignore unless they continue coming), or an alert because replication has fallen behind. By being on call like this, I was forced to deal with the pain, or learn ways to minimize it. I chose to learn, and now I'm reaping the rewards.Wed, 18 Jan 2012 17:32:35 GMTTracy McKibbenhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspxI have been following this discussion and get the feeling some of you are on call "all the time"?!How is that possible without ending up in a burnout? I am in a 4-DBA rotation, doing call one week out of every month. I hate it but I can handle it. I don't how I would be able to cope with a higher on-call frequency though.Being on call all the time must be what hell is like...:-)Wed, 18 Jan 2012 17:15:26 GMTMarios Philippopouloshttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspx[quote][b]TravisDBA (1/18/2012)[/b][hrIt must be nice to be at a point in life where you can choose that. and have an extra income to support that decision vis-a-vis your husband. However, in many cases, for the rest of us working one income DBA's it's not a choice, its part of the job, period. Find a DBA job where it's not 24/7 on-call and I will jump for it. Fat chance though, because most are. Most DBA's I know are not married women with kids anyway (for exactly the reasons you state above), it rinses them out very quickly, and they usually ended up leaving because of pressure from hubby anyway. So your current situation is not typical in our field by a long shot. We all wish we could relax at home and read the latest SQL journal, but that is not the real world. But I am happy for you anyway. You got a sweet deal.:-D[/quote]I think any woman who knows that she wants a career (not just a job) and family has to plan for it way far in advance. We have it drilled into us starting very early. I'm not sure that this is something that my male counterparts hear very often in their career planning. I was also very luckily to hit peak earning years during a tech and economic boom. I feel for anyone just starting out now. We hit rough waters at the start of crash, my husband lost his contract after just finishing his MBA, so I was the sole earner (while pregnant!). If it came down to it I would have been sleeping with the pager again. MWiseWed, 18 Jan 2012 14:16:53 GMTMWisehttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspx[quote][b]bradmcgehee@hotmail.com (1/14/2012)[/b][hr]Comments posted to this topic are about the item [B]<A HREF="/articles/Editorial/87728/">DBAs and the Career-Life Balance</A>[/B][/quote]Brad,Your article and this below excerpt from your book "How to become an Exceptional DBA" on (Page 26) seem to contradict each other:"In most cases, Exceptional DBAs work hard, and spend a lot of time at work. They are often expected to get a task done "now," and to work aslong as it takes to get it done. They are often also "on call", and will be expected to come to work at any hour of the day if a problem needs to befixed. I have often worked long days (36 hours in one stretch was my record), come into the office at weekends, and taken phone calls in the middle of the night. Of course, I always try to be a proactive DBA in order to minimize as many problems as possible, but there is just no way to envision and avoid every potential problem. If you prefer an 8:00 AM to 5:00 PM job, then being a production DBA is probably not your calling."So, which is it? Is like from your book above? or is it like you said in your article "Are you focusing too much time on your career to the exclusion of doing other important things in your life?" You seem to be contradicting yourself. :-DWed, 18 Jan 2012 13:02:49 GMTTravisDBAhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspx[quote] Unless it was absolutely necessary I would never choose an on-call position again. I have no interest in 3AM wake up calls and lost weekends. I'd hate not seeing my family and I don't even want to think about the arguments that it would cause with my husband.[/quote]It must be nice to be at a point in life where you can choose that. and have an extra income to support that decision vis-a-vis your husband. However, in many cases, for the rest of us working one income DBA's it's not a choice, its part of the job, period. Find a DBA job where it's not 24/7 on-call and I will jump for it. Fat chance though, because most are. Most DBA's I know are not married women with kids anyway (for exactly the reasons you state above), it rinses them out very quickly, and they usually ended up leaving because of pressure from hubby anyway. So your current situation is not typical in our field by a long shot. We all wish we could relax at home and read the latest SQL journal, but that is not the real world. But I am happy for you anyway. You got a sweet deal.:-DWed, 18 Jan 2012 12:29:23 GMTTravisDBAhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspx[quote]Granted we cannot just wistfully pre-schedule this aspect of the job out of our lives.[/quote]I planned my career so that I can do exactly that. Pre-family, I worked long hours, on call rotations, etc. The idea was that by the time we were ready to settle down and have kids, I would have moved into a higher rung on the career ladder and would have more leeway to choose my work-life balance. Although now with the economic downturn, employees have a lot less leverage to do so. But I made myself so valuable to my company, that when I had my kid I was able to negotiate 4 days work from home for 6 months and then slowly transition back into more in-office days. I made sure that I never abused the perk and kept up my quality of work. It worked out so well that the company was willing to allow other employees the same option. Unless it was absolutely necessary I would never choose an on-call position again. I have no interest in 3AM wake up calls and lost weekends. I'd hate not seeing my family and I don't even want to think about the arguments that it would cause with my husband.Luckily my company requires on the job training as it is part of our "individual development plan" and I consider it relaxing to read the latest SQL Server news on my own time. It does give all my family a laugh that I'd rather have a SQL Server Mag subscription than InStyle.MWiseWed, 18 Jan 2012 10:49:23 GMTMWisehttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspx[quote]Have you found you have to manage it actively, or are you just a natural?[/quote]It has to be managed, no one does 24/7 on call duty naturally, that I have found anyway. But it beats the alternative of being out of a job.:-DWed, 18 Jan 2012 07:40:28 GMTTravisDBAhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspx[quote][b]Tracy McKibben (1/17/2012)[/b][hr]Rather than scramble to keep up with all of the new, sometimes obscure, features that new versions of SQL Server bring, I've worked to position my self as the guy who "may not know the answer now, but I know he'll find it". My peers and my boss know that just about any problem that they throw at me will eventually get resolved, and they also know that if/when something catches fire, I'm going to be somewhere accessible to help extinguish it.Not having that pressure of trying to keep up allows me to have time for a personal life and hobbies, and also allows time for blogging and when the urge strikes, forum participation. Yes, sometimes it feels like work intrudes into my personal time, but then I remind myself that work is paying the bills, and that in the end, I really have it pretty good where I am. How can I complain about a job that allowed me, and paid me, to go to Colorado Springs to attend a SQL Saturday event, when I'm in Minneapolis?[/quote]You hit an important point. Companies that show appreciation to their employees, eg. by helping them go to professional meetings, make it all the more easier to accept the sacrifices of personal life we all have to make. I wonder how many companies realize that...Wed, 18 Jan 2012 05:31:17 GMTMarios Philippopouloshttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspxRather than scramble to keep up with all of the new, sometimes obscure, features that new versions of SQL Server bring, I've worked to position my self as the guy who "may not know the answer now, but I know he'll find it". My peers and my boss know that just about any problem that they throw at me will eventually get resolved, and they also know that if/when something catches fire, I'm going to be somewhere accessible to help extinguish it.Not having that pressure of trying to keep up allows me to have time for a personal life and hobbies, and also allows time for blogging and when the urge strikes, forum participation. Yes, sometimes it feels like work intrudes into my personal time, but then I remind myself that work is paying the bills, and that in the end, I really have it pretty good where I am. How can I complain about a job that allowed me, and paid me, to go to Colorado Springs to attend a SQL Saturday event, when I'm in Minneapolis?Tue, 17 Jan 2012 19:21:10 GMTTracy McKibbenhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspx[quote][b]TravisDBA (1/17/2012)[/b][hr]A realist on the other hand, is someone who [b]accepts events and situations as they really are and deals with them in a practical way.[/b][/quote]Correct that we are DBA's, we live in a real world, we are often on call and must respond at odd hours, and the family is affected. That's part of the job and to some extent unavoidable (and even part of the fun :-P ). Granted we cannot just wistfully pre-schedule this aspect of the job out of our lives.However you speak of accepting situations and "deal[ing] with them in a practical way." Perfect, that's exactly what we're trying to discuss. What are some practical ways you have found to be a good DBA while still being good at your other roles in life (despite being on call)? Have you found you have to manage it actively, or are you just a natural?Tue, 17 Jan 2012 15:43:28 GMTold accout - will shttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspx[quote] There is a difference between being a realist, and just being a pessimist. [/quote]Yes, there is a definitely a difference between someone who thinks that the worst thing will happen in every situation, which is a pessimist. A realist on the other hand, is someone who [b]accepts events and situations as they really are and deals with them in a practical way.[/b] This is what I am referring to, the "real world", not the "ideal world", or the "moral world". :-DTue, 17 Jan 2012 12:15:43 GMTTravisDBAhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspx[quote][b]TravisDBA (1/17/2012)[/b][hr][quote]Please, don't go out and cut the hands off of someone because they were stealing bread when they are homeless. Its the basic principles we are after, and this can only be acquired by strong critical thinking.[/quote]I think you are referring to the Arab world, they do that. However, it's still no excuse to steal, nor is being homeless an excuse to break into to someone's house to steal food. You are still going to jail, or quite possibly the morgue. That is the basic principle right there, it's knowing the difference between the way things are in the world, and the way things should be. :-D[/quote]So punish for doing wrong, but don't teach them right? Actually, I would say the principle would be to strive for good and not wrong, but there are various underlying reasons to the example. However, limiting your opinions to just one and not several, will definitely hamper your horizons.Also, I know this is done in the arab world, but go figure everyone doesn't agree with that (have you seen all these riots over the last year?). We must agree to disagree. There is a difference between being a realist, and just being a pessimist. The point in his advice from earlier involved seeing the big picture, and as a strong critical thinker, extract multiple conclusions towards acting on our morals and values, teaching good morals and values, and learning to better our morals and values. We are on either side of the fence on this. But a debate is good conversation nonetheless.StephenTue, 17 Jan 2012 11:50:55 GMTstephen99999http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspx[quote]Please, don't go out and cut the hands off of someone because they were stealing bread when they are homeless. Its the basic principles we are after, and this can only be acquired by strong critical thinking.[/quote]I think you are referring to the Arab world, they do that. However, it's still no excuse to steal, nor is being homeless an excuse to break into to someone's house to steal food. You are still going to jail, or quite possibly the morgue. That is the basic principle right there, it's knowing the difference between the way things are in the world, and the way things should be. :-DTue, 17 Jan 2012 11:08:26 GMTTravisDBAhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspx[quote][b]GilaMonster (1/17/2012)[/b][hr][quote][b]TravisDBA (1/17/2012)[/b][hr][quote][b]butler-628023 (1/16/2012)[/b][hr]The pastor who performed my marriage and counseled my wife and I before the blessed event gave me this wise advice...Put family events (i.e. commitments) in your planner along with your business appointments. When people ask you to do something when you already have a family commitment tell them "no" just like you would with a business conflict. 99% of the times another time will work out. I do occasionally get some strange looks from young, single, career-obsessed colleagues, but they usually work around my prior commitments without any complaints. As has been mentioned already, it's always instructive to ask yourself what will matter to you in 10 years. I have never answered that question on the side of work.[/quote]That does not work when you are on call 24/7 and a emergency arises. A commitment like "I got my son's soccer game I already promised him I to go to..." just doesn't wash with the Help Desk.[/quote]Emergencies are one thing, utterly trivial things that can wait til the next day/week is another thing.Eg, a project manager once came up to me on Friday afternoon and asked 'You know that complex data analysis you were going to start on Monday, any chance we can expedite it? Maybe you could spend the weekend on it?'[/quote]RIF. Which I why I specifically said that does not work when you are "on-call 24/7" and the Help Desk calls with what they say is an "emergency". It might be, and it might not be, but until you get online and prove that it isn't, you still must respond. Most DBA's I know are on call 24/7 because they are either the only DBA, or one of two, and when "on call" they must be a half-hour max from a remote connection. period. Its either that, or carry a wireless laptop to your son's soccer game, or the movie theatre. It's just the nature of the business. :-DTue, 17 Jan 2012 10:20:23 GMTTravisDBAhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspx[quote][b]TravisDBA (1/17/2012)[/b][hr][quote][b]butler-628023 (1/16/2012)[/b][hr]The pastor who performed my marriage and counseled my wife and I before the blessed event gave me this wise advice...Put family events (i.e. commitments) in your planner along with your business appointments. When people ask you to do something when you already have a family commitment tell them "no" just like you would with a business conflict. 99% of the times another time will work out. I do occasionally get some strange looks from young, single, career-obsessed colleagues, but they usually work around my prior commitments without any complaints. As has been mentioned already, it's always instructive to ask yourself what will matter to you in 10 years. I have never answered that question on the side of work.[/quote]That does not work when you are on call 24/7 and a emergency arises. A commitment like "I got my son's soccer game I already promised him I to go to..." just doesn't wash with the Help Desk.[/quote]Emergencies are one thing, utterly trivial things that can wait til the next day/week is another thing.Eg, a project manager once came up to me on Friday afternoon and asked 'You know that complex data analysis you were going to start on Monday, any chance we can expedite it? Maybe you could spend the weekend on it?'Tue, 17 Jan 2012 09:58:18 GMTGilaMonsterhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspx[quote][b]TravisDBA (1/17/2012)[/b][hr][quote][b]butler-628023 (1/16/2012)[/b][hr]The pastor who performed my marriage and counseled my wife and I before the blessed event gave me this wise advice...Put family events (i.e. commitments) in your planner along with your business appointments. When people ask you to do something when you already have a family commitment tell them "no" just like you would with a business conflict. 99% of the times another time will work out. I do occasionally get some strange looks from young, single, career-obsessed colleagues, but they usually work around my prior commitments without any complaints. As has been mentioned already, it's always instructive to ask yourself what will matter to you in 10 years. I have never answered that question on the side of work.[/quote]That does not work when you are on call 24/7 and a emergency arises. A commitment like "I got my son's soccer game I already promised him I to go to..." just doesn't wash with the Help Desk. Maybe it won't matter in 10 years, but I need to keep eating and living indoors today too..:-D[/quote]I think you are missing the point of the advice. This is sort of what I meant by the difference between the technical and the analyst. You must not take it for your literal meanings, and find its underlying meanings. One analogy: its like reading ancient text today and taking it word for word. Please, don't go out and cut the hands off of someone because they were stealing bread when they are homeless. Its the basic principles we are after, and this can only be acquired by strong critical thinking.Of course, if you are on call...then that will become priority number 1, but I hope this is not happening a lot for you.It also comes down to your type of business, manager, and personal professional goals which really drive this topic. Its going to be different for all of us, but no matter what your opinion we can learn from each others experiences.Tue, 17 Jan 2012 09:57:53 GMTstephen99999http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspxI am also doing on-call duties but we do rotations. If you're on-call 24/7 most of the time, there's something wrong with scheduling or resource allocation. I make sure that whenever I am scheduled to be the on-call DBA, I look at my calendar first before agreeing to take the schedule. I also tell my kids that we need to let everyone know about upcoming events so we can schedule them appropriately. But we're flexible. We just need to understand what our priorities areTue, 17 Jan 2012 09:55:31 GMTbassplayerdochttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspx[quote][b]butler-628023 (1/16/2012)[/b][hr]The pastor who performed my marriage and counseled my wife and I before the blessed event gave me this wise advice...Put family events (i.e. commitments) in your planner along with your business appointments. When people ask you to do something when you already have a family commitment tell them "no" just like you would with a business conflict. 99% of the times another time will work out. I do occasionally get some strange looks from young, single, career-obsessed colleagues, but they usually work around my prior commitments without any complaints. As has been mentioned already, it's always instructive to ask yourself what will matter to you in 10 years. I have never answered that question on the side of work.[/quote]That does not work when you are on call 24/7 and a emergency arises. A commitment like "I got my son's soccer game I already promised him I to go to..." just doesn't wash with the Help Desk. Maybe it won't matter in 10 years, but I need to keep eating and living indoors today too..:-DTue, 17 Jan 2012 09:48:13 GMTTravisDBAhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspxThanks for all the thoughful responses so far.Tue, 17 Jan 2012 09:46:09 GMTbradmcgehee@hotmail.comhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspxIn this day and age, the most powerful word you could ever utter to somebody is "NO." And this is especially true with men because we feel like saying NO is a sign of weakness. But it is liberating to know that you were able to say NO because you have your priorities straightened out.As for scheduling family events in your calendar, I'm all for it. You've probably heard of the story about putting the big rocks in first. Here's a [url=http://michaelhyatt.com/put-the-big-rocks-in-first.html]reference blog post[/url]. And if you can grab the book [url=http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0684802031/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=leadelessoand-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0684802031]First Things First[/url] by Stephen Covey, it's an excellent read.Tue, 17 Jan 2012 09:30:01 GMTbassplayerdochttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspx[quote][b]butler-628023 (1/16/2012)[/b][hr]The pastor who performed my marriage and counseled my wife and I before the blessed event gave me this wise advice...Put family events (i.e. commitments) in your planner along with your business appointments. When people ask you to do something when you already have a family commitment tell them "no" just like you would with a business conflict. 99% of the times another time will work out. I do occasionally get some strange looks from young, single, career-obsessed colleagues, but they usually work around my prior commitments without any complaints. As has been mentioned already, it's always instructive to ask yourself what will matter to you in 10 years. I have never answered that question on the side of work.[/quote]Wise words. Actually, most of the time they admire your ability to do so much. Actually a movie just recently came out on DVD that was sort of about this..Tue, 17 Jan 2012 09:07:36 GMTstephen99999http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspxFROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCES:As a Jr SQL dev, I've have always tried to abide by one rule: there is a median between Work and Home, and I will always stay in it. So far, for the last 3 years, this has been true (I have a 2 yr old, greatest part of life).When 5pm hits, its home time. But, from 8am-5pm, its SQL, all day, everyday. Even when surfing SQLServerCentral & SQL blogging, it should be a part of your breaks, lunch, and maybe 30 mins to 60 mins of work time, not home time. I know not all businesses/managers see it this way, but my experience so far with various ones, allows for these type of learning situations. I think when it comes to us SQL folks, we get split into two groups: Technical and AnalystsThe technical guys I see are usually those that can answer any question SQL server related, but are also the guys that work the longest, and have turned this into their hobby and home time.The analysts guys I see typically have been those who know the technical portion of their job well enough, but also grasp other portions of the business, with much thinking towards other technologies and methodologies. These guys, for what it is, make greater use of their 8-5 (because they have too with their brain-gerbils running at full speed), leaving at 5 to join the family and enjoy life. I've met more managers looking for the family guy and team player who knows enough, then the nutzoid SQL-geek.Its all in what you want out of life, but I must say to the other young junior devs out there: If you want to enjoy life with family and friends, avoid getting into the habit of being SQL obsessed 24/7 now. Maximize your 8-5, because when you hit 35 and your kid is 7 and you dont remember much from 1-6, you can't get that time back. Again, all of this is from personal experiences. I understand everyone is different.StephenTue, 17 Jan 2012 09:05:34 GMTstephen99999http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspx[quote][b]GilaMonster (1/17/2012)[/b][hr][quote][b]TravisDBA (1/17/2012)[/b][hr][quote][b]GilaMonster (1/17/2012)[/b][hr][quote][b]TravisDBA (1/17/2012)[/b][hr]I once was interviewed by Citrix and the Cambodian that interviewed me told me "We work hard, but we play hard too." Which my response was "What exactly does that mean?" I guess no one ever challenged him on it before because he was just flabbergasted and did not even have an answer. [/quote]"We take the team out for drinks on a friday night and go-carting some Saturdays. No, you can't decline and spend time with your family. What kind of a team player are you?"[/quote]So what are you are really saying? That "playing hard" involves drinking and if I don't go out with you on a Friday night that I am not a team player?[/quote]I'm not, but I've met some managers who did.My comment was a guess as to what that phrase could have meant (and what I've seen it interpreted as at some places)[/quote]Maybe, and if that was the case, maybe that is why he didn't answer the return question, because he probably quickly realized he should not be saying stuff like that in a interview in the first place. :-DTue, 17 Jan 2012 08:27:05 GMTTravisDBAhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspx[quote][b]TravisDBA (1/17/2012)[/b][hr][quote][b]GilaMonster (1/17/2012)[/b][hr][quote][b]TravisDBA (1/17/2012)[/b][hr]I once was interviewed by Citrix and the Cambodian that interviewed me told me "We work hard, but we play hard too." Which my response was "What exactly does that mean?" I guess no one ever challenged him on it before because he was just flabbergasted and did not even have an answer. [/quote]"We take the team out for drinks on a friday night and go-carting some Saturdays. No, you can't decline and spend time with your family. What kind of a team player are you?"[/quote]So what are you are really saying? That "playing hard" involves drinking and if I don't go out with you on a Friday night that I am not a team player?[/quote]I'm not, but I've met some managers who did.My comment was a guess as to what that phrase could have meant (and what I've seen it interpreted as at some places)Tue, 17 Jan 2012 08:16:50 GMTGilaMonsterhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspx[quote][b]GilaMonster (1/17/2012)[/b][hr][quote][b]TravisDBA (1/17/2012)[/b][hr]I once was interviewed by Citrix and the Cambodian that interviewed me told me "We work hard, but we play hard too." Which my response was "What exactly does that mean?" I guess no one ever challenged him on it before because he was just flabbergasted and did not even have an answer. [/quote]"We take the team out for drinks on a friday night and go-carting some Saturdays. No, you can't decline and spend time with your family. What kind of a team player are you?"[/quote]So what are you are really saying? That "playing hard" involves drinking and if I don't go out with you on a Friday night that I am not a team player?Tue, 17 Jan 2012 08:07:21 GMTTravisDBAhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspx[quote][b]TravisDBA (1/17/2012)[/b][hr]I once was interviewed by Citrix and the Cambodian that interviewed me told me "We work hard, but we play hard too." Which my response was "What exactly does that mean?" I guess no one ever challenged him on it before because he was just flabbergasted and did not even have an answer. [/quote]"We take the team out for drinks on a friday night and go-carting some Saturdays. No, you can't decline and spend time with your family. What kind of a team player are you?"Tue, 17 Jan 2012 08:01:29 GMTGilaMonsterhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspxI once was interviewed by Citrix and the Cambodian that interviewed me told me "We work hard, but we play hard too." Which my immediate response was "What exactly does that mean?" I guess no one ever challenged him on it before because he was just flabbergasted and did not even have an answer. Sometimes it makes you stop and wonder whether people are just dreaming up cute snappy sounding stuff just to say. :-DTue, 17 Jan 2012 07:46:01 GMTTravisDBAhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspxI find all these comments interesting. When I started in IT many years ago I was so engrossed in learning about this new field I neglected everything that was happening around me. It took years to make me realize that I was taken by the maze that is created in this NeverWorld. We solve real world problems if we are good at our jobs. Instead of being consumed by what should be, focus on giving the best service you can to the people that are depending on you. If you really do this you will be forced to find the best way to give them the newest and best way to do their work. You will not have a problem getting the training you desire. It will be part of your duty. This will not happen accidently. It will take place only when you have fortitude to demand that you do your job! While you are doing this you will have plenty of time to spend with your family and friends. Life is a balance but the priority MUST BE WITH YOUR FAMILY. Time will change everything but you never get to recover the time you lose with those you love.Mon, 16 Jan 2012 23:00:55 GMTNelson Brownhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspxIt all boils down to priorities and developing your daily disciplines. I [url=http://wp.me/p1GJXV-2Y]blogged [/url]about investing in your personal growth and how it comes at a price. In organizations where you are expected to work on company time and learn on your own time, this is really a challenge (I am not in favor of such practices but you have to live with it). But this is the cost of growth. The question is not whether or not we want to grow but whether or not we are willing to pay the price.Work-Life balance is a concept that the 20th century work environment has developed to create a separation between work and play. The reason why it is advocated by many is because they are stuck in a work environment - or even in a job - where they'd rather be someplace else. If we look at history, technology is "partly" to blame for this phenomenon. And, then, there's the 8-hour work day and the 40-hour work week. In effect, there really is no such thing as balance since we spend most of our time at work. So, how do we deal with it? Try [b]P.D.A.[/b]1) [b]Prioritize[/b]. List down the top 5 items that mean a lot to you. If you spend more than enough time at work than with your family, it simply means it is higher up the priority list.2) [b]Discipline[/b]. Once we've defined our priorities, we need to develop our daily disciplines to support our priorities. One example, in my case, is making sure that I walk my kids to the school bus stop every morning no matter what. It also means having lunch date with my wife every Friday. Because they are on my priority list. I also account for the time I spend meditating and praying in the morning, reading before going to bed and taking walks when the weather permits.3) [b]Accept[/b]. We need to learn more about ourselves - our strengths and weaknesses - and accept the facts. We need to accept the fact that we cannot do everything. This means being secured in who we are. It gives us the courage to say no to our boss when we know our priorities and daily disciplines will be affected. I've accepted the fact that I know nothing about BizTalk nor don't have any clue at all what the [url=http://www.math.ubc.ca/~israel/m103/mercator/mercator.html]Mercator's map[/url] is all about. I can't even read my own handwriting sometimes and will probably not be playwright ever. But I'm fine with that.As technology professionals, we have succumbed to the pressure of what the industry requires of us that we let it define who we are. We need to take a step back, take charge and be different. Then, we can begin to really see what work-life balance truly means.Mon, 16 Jan 2012 21:33:33 GMTbassplayerdochttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspxThe pastor who performed my marriage and counseled my wife and I before the blessed event gave me this wise advice...Put family events (i.e. commitments) in your planner along with your business appointments. When people ask you to do something when you already have a family commitment tell them "no" just like you would with a business conflict. 99% of the times another time will work out. I do occasionally get some strange looks from young, single, career-obsessed colleagues, but they usually work around my prior commitments without any complaints. As has been mentioned already, it's always instructive to ask yourself what will matter to you in 10 years. I have never answered that question on the side of work.Mon, 16 Jan 2012 20:04:53 GMTbutler-628023http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspxAs I thought about goals / resolutions this year, I had to get realistic about how much I want to accomplish as a SQL professional vs. how much I want to accomplish as a father, husband, and church member. We are homeschooling our kids, and our church is doing some amazing projects like building a free health clinic for people without insurance, etc. As a SQL professional, I would love this year to get certified, give 3 presentations, start a regular blog, and go to PASS Summit. But with 4 kids at home, two of whom are still quite little, and a wife whom I vowed to be there for as a true life companion and not just a walking paycheck, not to mention side project commitments, those targets aren't realistic right now. Instead certification is out of the question this year, 1 or 2 presentations is probably the max, and SQL Rally will be a great trip, targeted exactly to people like me that can't make the Summit.So I think setting realistic targets is important. I haven't been especially good at this in the past, and instead have just tried to "do everything that interested me". This is a great attitude when you're young, capable, and don't have other commitments. But as your responsibilities grow, you need to sit down, think about it, and make the hard choices about "what to leave in, what to leave out".For a little more encouragement on giving family the priority it deserves, I highly recommend http://familymanweb.com/ . Now his slant is often "family is everything, every time", and as DBA's sometimes the job does come first. That's the job, don't feel guilty about it. But if you have a family, please resist that urge to make "career" the God of your life.As far as other things that have worked for me, I've actually changed jobs quite a bit until 1) I figured out what I wanted and 2) I found a company that was sane. Working for a sane company goes a long way toward making work/life balance possible. If your current job is wrecking your home, start looking around. There are good companies out there, even if they are the minority.Mon, 16 Jan 2012 11:38:42 GMTold accout - will shttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspxWhilst I consider myself a good SQL Server/IT professional, I do find it incredibly hard to keep up with all the latest features within the product and I take my hat off to the guys who are at the top of the SQL tree. However, thats just not me. As much as I try and stay on top of all things SQL Server, I probably don't spend as much time keeping my SQL career current as I could. Last year, I made a point of blogging every week (on a SQL topic) to ensure I kept my technical eye in whilst doing my bit for the SQL Community. It was tough but rewarding. This year, I won't be able to make the same commitment because of changes in my personal life and i'm comfortable with this.I'll try and blog and do as much as I can to keep myself valuable (to me and my company!) but this won't be at the expense of other commitments.Mon, 16 Jan 2012 04:54:47 GMTrichbrownesqhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspxWhile it is not that easy, my health, well being and my family comes before everything. My close friends are also very important to me when I think about it. My job, while important, I do not live to work. I work to live.Mon, 16 Jan 2012 00:12:38 GMTIceDreadhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1236215-263-1.aspxIn our office I'm known as the SQL Evangelist... at home, these days even my wife would wake me up and read alert text messages, understanding half of it..She loves making jokes involving SQL "talk", using words like table joins, procedures, heck, she can even speak a simple select statement.... Sometimes I think I'm too deeply involved in SQL Server, and turn it down a notch, but when I find myself speaking t-sql in my sleep, I'm just back on the path again....can't get away from it.Sun, 15 Jan 2012 22:08:17 GMTHenrico Bekker