InstantForum.NET v2.9.0SQLServerCentralhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/notifications@sqlservercentral.comSat, 25 May 2013 19:54:31 GMT20http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspx[quote][b]Amit Lohia (3/13/2009)[/b][hr][quote][b]RBarryYoung (5/10/2008)[/b][hr]I call this "Presidential Campaign, 2008":[center][font="Courier New"][size="2"][color="blue"]WAITFOR PRIMARYSELECT [/color][color="magenta"]RIGHT [/color][color="#434343"]IDENTITY[/color][color="blue"]PRECISION IS [/color][color="gray"]ALL[/color][/size][/font][/center][/quote]I think this is the best so far.[/quote]Thanks, Amit!Fri, 13 Mar 2009 20:30:08 GMTRBarryYounghttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspx[quote][b]RBarryYoung (5/10/2008)[/b][hr]I call this "Presidential Campaign, 2008":[center][font="Courier New"][size="2"][color="blue"]WAITFOR PRIMARYSELECT [/color][color="magenta"]RIGHT [/color][color="#434343"]IDENTITY[/color][color="blue"]PRECISION IS [/color][color="gray"]ALL[/color][/size][/font][/center][/quote]I think this is the best so far.Fri, 13 Mar 2009 16:54:26 GMTAmit Lohiahttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspxIF USER DENY TO BACKUP KILL USER IDENTITY FOR GROUP AND ADMINDENY ANY ROLE AND EXITFri, 13 Mar 2009 16:50:46 GMTAmit Lohiahttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspxAdvice only in West Virginia: (or your own neighboring hillbilly incestual state)[code]REPLICATION WITHANY RELATIVE CREATENO NEW LAST NAMES...NONE![/code]Fri, 15 Aug 2008 10:40:03 GMTKeller-795887http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspxDude, we'd be scary together in the same workplace. :DFri, 15 Aug 2008 10:21:54 GMTKeller-795887http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspxMore "harmony" at work:[code]INPUT LENGTH IS KEYTO COALESCE WITH ADMIN;BEGIN FILLFACTOR[/code][code]INSERT WITH ADMINNOT HAVING SOME CHARACTER;CREATE ESCAPE PLAN[/code][code]PLAN TO USE ROLLBACKWHEN HAVING ADMIN NOT WITHCHARACTER VALUES[/code]Steve(aka smunson):D:D:DFri, 15 Aug 2008 10:13:10 GMTsgmunsonhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspx"Relations" at work:[code]INSERT IN ADMINUNDER OR ON TABLE TOPOVER AND OVER[/code][code]AUTHORIZATIONTO INSERT INTO USERAT WORK IS NOT REAL[/code]For those of you that just lock yourself in your cube all day:[code]ISOLATION ISINDICATOR OF PUBLICVIEW OF CHARACTER[/code]Fri, 15 Aug 2008 09:42:15 GMTKeller-795887http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspxBusiness break-room food etiquette:[code]LARGE FOREIGN OBJECTLEFT ON PUBLIC TABLE ISFOR GROUP COLLATION[/code][size="1"]col-la-tion (n): any light meal[/size]Fri, 15 Aug 2008 09:03:53 GMTKeller-795887http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspxContinuing along those lines...Before flushing, Confucius Say:[center][code]AT DUMP COMPLETION(ARRAY OF VARYING SIZE)CHECK FOR BULK BLOB FIRST[/code][/center]Fri, 15 Aug 2008 08:51:51 GMTKeller-795887http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspxI'd be more concerned about the "can" influence, which might lead to this kind of thinking:[code]IF BACKUP EXISTSTRIGGER DUMP PROCEDURE BYORDER OF USER[/code][code]IF BACKUP EXISTSTRIGGER DUMP PROCEDURE WITHCHECK FOR DOUBLE DUMP[/code][code]IF DUMP EXISTS THENREVOKE RIGHT FOR USER TODROP DUMP ON TABLE[/code]Steve(aka smunson):Whistling::Whistling::Whistling:Fri, 15 Aug 2008 08:20:41 GMTsgmunsonhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspxWho says you don't do your best thinking on the can?!?[center]:P IF MAX FILLFACTORIS TO TOP, THEN PUBLIC RULEIS TO NOT DUMP NOW :P[/center]Fri, 15 Aug 2008 07:45:04 GMTKeller-795887http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspxIf only lay about workers were this easy to CONVERT :cool: :IF NOT COMMITTEDSETUSER TO COMPUTE ANDKILL IDENTITYMon, 11 Aug 2008 08:58:17 GMTskyline666http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspxOr this...[code]CREATE PROCEDURETO KILL CURRENT DATABASEWHEN USER DUMMY[/code]or ...[code]SET VARYING LENGTHVALUES FOR UNION INPUTTO GET UNIQUE DATE[/code]Steve(aka smunson):):):)Mon, 11 Aug 2008 07:50:20 GMTsgmunsonhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspxAtif,Here's an idea, using the concept you started with...[code]WHEN USER DUMMYTHEN FETCH CURRENT BACKUP ANDRESTORE DATABASE[/code]Steve(aka smunson):):):)Mon, 11 Aug 2008 07:27:52 GMTsgmunsonhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspxOooops....Mon, 11 Aug 2008 04:50:18 GMTAtif-ullah Sheikhhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspxAtif: These does not conform to the rulesfor Haiku. Haiku are supposed to consist of 3 lines, with 5 syllables in the first line, 7 syllables in the second and 5 syllables in the last line. Yours are way over.Sat, 09 Aug 2008 05:54:54 GMTRBarryYounghttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspx[code]GOTO FETCH CURRENT BACKUPRESTORE ON DATABASE FOR DUMMYBREAK TRANSACTION ON DUMP PROCEDURE[/code]Atif SheikhSat, 09 Aug 2008 03:58:34 GMTAtif-ullah Sheikhhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspxGET PRIMARY DEFAULT USERTRY TO BREAK CURRENT TRANSACTION ALTER AUTHORIZATION TO CREATE CURSORAtif SheikhSat, 09 Aug 2008 03:53:58 GMTAtif-ullah Sheikhhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspx[font="Comic Sans MS"][size="3"]Current_date dummy?Order no partial insert;Coalesce union.[/size][/font]Fri, 27 Jun 2008 18:14:56 GMTjohn.arnotthttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspxno user existsexecute plan to deletedatabase serverFri, 27 Jun 2008 11:35:44 GMTrudy - Doctor "X"http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspxMost Excellent :w00t:Fri, 27 Jun 2008 11:32:11 GMTrudy - Doctor "X"http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspx[quote][b]rudy komacsar (6/27/2008)[/b][hr]master full uservalues unique unionwith distinct order[/quote] or schemabinding! :PFri, 27 Jun 2008 11:29:13 GMTMatt Miller (#4)http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspxkill current userand begin to shutdown keyuser databaseFri, 27 Jun 2008 11:26:05 GMTrudy - Doctor "X"http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspxmaster full uservalues unique unionwith distinct orderFri, 27 Jun 2008 10:32:30 GMTrudy - Doctor "X"http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspxWell, Ivanna, that makes a total of three RELATIONAL verses in T-SQL Haiku... How database is that ???? :D:D:DAnd as long as we're using a RELATIONAL language, how about:[code]IF DATE IS DATEFIRSTTHEN TRY NOT HAVING ANYINSERT INTO DATE[/code]:D:D:DNot sure if I'll get away with this one though... It's a cautionary tale, if that helps...Steve(aka smunson):):):)Fri, 27 Jun 2008 06:39:05 GMTsgmunsonhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspx...or if that doesn't work...[center][code]NO CONVERSATIONWAITFOR END OF DAY AND THEN TRY UNION INSTEAD [/code][/center]:w00t:Thu, 26 Jun 2008 22:59:47 GMTIvanna Nohhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspxSQL pick up line...:w00t:[center][code]GETDATE FOR USERIF LANGUAGE IS NOT FOREIGNTRY CONVERSATION[/code][/center]Thu, 26 Jun 2008 22:41:42 GMTIvanna Nohhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspxOOPS !!! Wasn't familiar with the specifics on that... here's a fix:[code]BEGIN TO COMMITWHEN RECEIVE CONTAINS DUMP THENEND CONVERSATION[/code]Turns out I did have 5 on line 1, but then it was 4 and 6 instead of 7 and 5.Steve(aka smunson):):):)[quote][b]rbarryyoung (6/26/2008)[/b][hr][quote][b]smunson (6/26/2008)[/b][hr]How about the following?[code]BEGIN TO COMMITWHEN RECEIVE DUMPTHEN END CONVERSATION[/code]Kind of silly, but I got a laugh out of it... especially when I considered how RELATIONAL it is :w00t::D:P:hehe:Steve(aka smunson):D:D:D[/quote]It does not conform to the rules. The "Haiku" are supposed to consist of 3 lines, with 5 syllables in the first line, 7 syllables in the second and 5 syllables in the last line. Yours is (4,4,6), not (5,7,5).[/quote]Thu, 26 Jun 2008 09:59:29 GMTsgmunsonhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspx[quote][b]smunson (6/26/2008)[/b][hr]How about the following?[code]BEGIN TO COMMITWHEN RECEIVE DUMPTHEN END CONVERSATION[/code]Kind of silly, but I got a laugh out of it... especially when I considered how RELATIONAL it is :w00t::D:P:hehe:Steve(aka smunson):D:D:D[/quote]It does not conform to the rules. The "Haiku" are supposed to consist of 3 lines, with 5 syllables in the first line, 7 syllables in the second and 5 syllables in the last line. Yours is (4,4,6), not (5,7,5).Thu, 26 Jun 2008 09:14:47 GMTRBarryYounghttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspxHow about the following?[code]BEGIN TO COMMITWHEN RECEIVE DUMPTHEN END CONVERSATION[/code]Kind of silly, but I got a laugh out of it... especially when I considered how RELATIONAL it is :w00t::D:P:hehe:Steve(aka smunson):D:D:DThu, 26 Jun 2008 08:07:22 GMTsgmunsonhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspx[quote][b]Ken Simmons (6/24/2008)[/b][hr]DROP DATABASE FILEIF NO BACKUP TO RESTOREBEGIN TO DENY[/quote]ROFL! :laugh:Beautiful, Ken.Wed, 25 Jun 2008 06:57:32 GMTRBarryYounghttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspxDROP DATABASE FILEIF NO BACKUP TO RESTOREBEGIN TO DENYTue, 24 Jun 2008 21:49:50 GMTKenSimmonshttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspxescape outer viewcascade is like cross currentprimary break betweenTue, 24 Jun 2008 21:36:06 GMTAdonia Delavigne-521648http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspxpublic statisticstrigger off foreign valuesconvert user viewTue, 24 Jun 2008 21:30:34 GMTAdonia Delavigne-521648http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspxCHECK DUMMY IN GROUPAUTHORIZATION DENYTRY SAVE DUMMY NOTFri, 06 Jun 2008 10:01:15 GMTChristopher Stobbshttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspxThanks, Steve!Mon, 12 May 2008 16:30:16 GMTRBarryYounghttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspxVery nice! I like that one.Mon, 12 May 2008 08:28:38 GMTSteve Jones - SSC Editorhttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspxI call this "Presidential Campaign, 2008":[center][font="Courier New"][size="2"][color="blue"]WAITFOR PRIMARYSELECT [/color][color="magenta"]RIGHT [/color][color="#434343"]IDENTITY[/color][color="blue"]PRECISION IS [/color][color="gray"]ALL[/color][/size][/font][/center]Sat, 10 May 2008 00:33:09 GMTRBarryYounghttp://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspxWhat a fun idea!LOAD CURRENT_USERAUTHORIZATION UPDATE ALLBROWSE NOT WITH CONSTRAINTFri, 09 May 2008 14:22:14 GMTfranp-424154http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic498166-160-1.aspxI call this one "Bear Sterns"DEFAULT TRANSACTIONCROSS PUBLIC DECLARE DUMP GROUPUSE TRIGGER DUMMYFri, 09 May 2008 13:08:25 GMTJames Raddock