March 6, 2008 at 11:47 am
I seen this ad in a uk job board and though that I would post it here and would appreciate comments, pay particular attention to the prase and not rub people up the wrong way ... this really made me laugh.
SQL Server Guru - Hedge Fund - London
A Development DBA position for an expert SQL Server Guru. The successful candidate will have exceptional all round SQL capabilities, with a wealth of experience and knowledge supporting developers. You must be able to troubleshoot the database without trying to tell people how to structure the database by the book, or implementing best practices that rub people up the wrong way
In summary someone with lots of SQL support experience and TSQL knowledge and DBCC repair ability while also being prepared to do more basic user support.
A strong knowledge of Exchange 2007/2003 is now more of an advantage
Location: London Docklands
Salary: Market Rate
Type: Contract
Contact Name: Daniel Brown
Advertiser: Huxley Associates
Tel. No. 0207 469 5050
Reference No. itjb5876532
March 6, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Speaking only for myself, I won't be applying for that position.
:smooooth:
"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
- Theodore Roosevelt
Author of:
SQL Server Execution Plans
SQL Server Query Performance Tuning
March 6, 2008 at 12:20 pm
Me neither. Actually - rubbing "them" the wrong way is a bit of my specialty:)
Then again - there's apparently no expectation of performance - you just got to be able to tell them what went wrong when the server blew up.......:D
"This is what happens with a cartesian product on 3 100K row tables"....
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your lack of planning does not constitute an emergency on my part...unless you're my manager...or a director and above...or a really loud-spoken end-user..All right - what was my emergency again?
March 6, 2008 at 12:28 pm
“We want someone who knows how to do things right, but don’t want them to actually do things right or try to get anyone else to do things right. We have a lot of sensitive dumb-asses working here, and we don’t want you to hurt their feelings by pointing out flaws in their work. It is much more important to have our developers feel good about themselves than to have systems that function correctly.”
March 6, 2008 at 1:10 pm
Why not hire some poor slob who knows little about SQL Server (as opposed to a SQL Server Guru)...
...that way they won't have to worry about any 'best practices' or those nasty by-the-book database structures.
And just think of the money they will save! :w00t:
If it was easy, everybody would be doing it!;)
March 6, 2008 at 4:42 pm
Nah... they need an absolute Ninja, Sam... they want to let everyone run rough shod over the database and the server but still keep it running. They need to hire a saint that also knows SQL Server to the max.
--Jeff Moden
Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.
March 6, 2008 at 5:10 pm
LOL
sounds to me like they had some "Issues" with the past DBA that they are replacing.
yeah...I dont see too many GURU's pounding their doors down here....
Gregory A Jackson MBA, CSM
March 6, 2008 at 10:08 pm
We are also looking for a financial auditing expert who can troubleshoot our financial records without making people uncomfortable about violating financial accounting standards and inconvenient laws and and who won't try to implement best practices that inhibit the financial reporting creativity of our management team.
March 7, 2008 at 5:22 am
Michael Valentine Jones (3/6/2008)
We are also looking for a financial auditing expert who can troubleshoot our financial records without making people uncomfortable about violating financial accounting standards and inconvenient laws and and who won't try to implement best practices that inhibit the financial reporting creativity of our management team.
Oh, that one's easy. Go to Texas & try to find a former ENRON employee.
"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
- Theodore Roosevelt
Author of:
SQL Server Execution Plans
SQL Server Query Performance Tuning
March 7, 2008 at 5:29 am
I love this line...note the 'now'...
ucan15 (3/6/2008)
A strong knowledge of Exchange 2007/2003 is now more of an advantage
...it is an advantage NOW because the last guy who had NO knowledge hosed it up and now we need someone to make it all better again. :hehe:
If it was easy, everybody would be doing it!;)
Viewing 10 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)
You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Login to reply